EXT. NEON CITY - ROOFTOPS - NIGHT
CRESTFALL stands atop a gargoyle. Neon tubing runs down the sides of monumental skyscrapers throughout the city’s skyline. Crestfall is in her normal jumpsuit, her blood red wings folded back as she surveys her city.
CRESTFALL (V.O.)
It’s cold tonight in Neon City. The air is still. It’s going to rain soon.
It begins to rain. Crestfall leaps into the air and spreads her wings. She flies into
the night sky.
CRESTFALL (V.O. CONT’D)
The drops on my wings are refreshing. But I know that the thugs in this town like the rain. They’ll be coming out of the shadows soon. Like roaches.
EXT. NEON CITY - ALLEY - NIGHT
A WOMAN shuffles her feet through puddles in the rain. She’s clearly nervous and questioning her decision to cut through the alley. She turns a corner and is met face to face with a wall. She’s startled.
WOMAN (TO HERSELF)
Now you’re jumping at walls. Just turn around and head back to the street.
She turns around and notices a small group of THUGS standing before her. Some of them hold baseball bats. They snicker amongst themselves. The THUG LEADER stands at their forefront, dressed in a tacky leather outfit.
THUG LEADER
You know, I was just talking to Lenny (he’s my best bud y’see) and I says to him, I says ‘Lenny, you know what I really want?’ And he says in his typical deadpan Lenny fashion, he says ‘Nope sure don’t’.
Tears are streaming down her face as thugs move in closer with each word spoken by the leader.
CRESTFALL (V.O.)
They’re roaches, and I’m the exterminator.
THUG LEADER
So I explained it to Lenny. I says ‘What I really want is a new plaything.’ And baby, I want to play with you!
The woman’s SCREAMS fade into the rainy night sky.
CRESTFALL (V.O.)
My name is Crestfall.
The leader grabs the woman by the arm. He’s tapped on the shoulder.
CRESTFALL
Excuse me.
The leader turns around to see Crestfall standing behind him. Her wings spread ominously. The few thugs that aren’t already on the ground, knocked out by her, are huddled off to the side cowering in fear.
CRESTFALL (CONT’D)
I don’t think she feels like playing right now.
The leader pushes the woman to the ground.
THUG LEADER
What are you ladies waiting for? Get her!
As their leader barks out order, the thugs gather their bearing and attack Crestfall.
CRESTFALL (V.O.)
This is my favorite part.
She makes quick work of them utilizing a specialized hand-to-hand combat technique. Part of the technique involves using her wings as a weapon, folding her wings back and thrusting them forward. She makes quick work of the remaining thugs as the leader watches. If he’s nervous he doesn’t show it. The woman is slumped on the ground in the alley, drenched by the rain.
Crestfall opens her wings again. She turns around and stares the leader in the eye.
CRESTFALL
Now you and I get to play.
The leader takes some hokey stance that looks like something taught at a third rate karate school.
THUG LEADER
C’mon little girl! Let’s do this.
She walks over to him as he exaggerates his stance. He lunges towards her and she punches him in the face. He crumples to the ground unconscious. Crestfall walks over to the woman and helps her up. She escorts the woman out of the alley to well lit city streets. Crestfall WHISTLES to get the attention of a policeman.
Crestfall leaps into the sky and flies into the night once again. The woman looks on.
EXT. NEON CITY - ROOFTOPS - NIGHT
Crestfall perches once again on top of one of the city’s gargoyles. She resumes her overwatch.
CRESTFALL (V.O.)
There was a time when I was more than an exterminator. More than just a vessel for vengeance. More than just a soaking wet avatar of justice. Once I was just...
INT. BRIEFING ROOM - UNDISCLOSED DESERT FACILIITY - DAY - 5 YEARS AGO
A small Army unit sits in a makeshift briefing room. Among them sits JESSICA CREST who is Crestfall sans wings or super powers. She’s dozing a little as CAPTAIN JONES explains the situation.
CAPTAIN JONES
Corporal Crest! Pay attention! The information you receive here may be the difference between life and death for you, or your sorry excuse for a squad.
JESSICA
Sorry Sir! I’m awake, I swear. I don’t know what came over me.
CAPTAIN JONES
You’d better be, for your sake and for everyone else’s.
He switches on a slide projector that shows various bombs and explosives. Based on the reaction of everyone involved it seems as if the information that being given is common knowledge amongst most of those involved.
CAPTAIN JONES (CONT’D)
As I was saying, there’s been a rise in the amount of IED’s that have been cropping up lately. Crest! That would be an improvised explosive device! I wouldn’t expect you to know that, seeing how you like to fall asleep during crucial briefings!
JESSICA
Yes sir! I’m completely oblivious to all things explosive. It’s a wonder I’m part of an Explosive Ordinance Disposal squad.
He stares her down. His face red with anger.
JESSICA (CONT’D)
Sir.
CAPTAIN JONES
You better watch yourself Corporal. If you weren’t the best bomb tech this side of the Euphrates, you’d be in some deep waters. We need you. But we also need you at your best. Wake the hell up.
A PRIVATE runs into the briefing room, slightly winded from running.
PRIVATE
Captain, Sir, EOD is needed in the field ASAP. Echo Company uncovered some funny looking thing they think might be a bomb.
The captain cuts off the private before he can finish and turns to the room.
CAPTAIN JONES
Clear out EOD. I don’t want any dead soldiers today. Do you hear me Crest?
Jessica smiles and turns to him before she exits.
JESSICA
Yes, Sir!
EXT. DESERT STREET OUTSIDE OF AN UNDISCLOSED CITY - LATER
Echo company is providing security around the perimeter of the area. One of Echo’s Lieutenants, LT. COOPER takes Jessica and her team to the device. He nervously keeps his distance as he points at the device.
LT. COOPER
Here it is. We’re not going to touch the thing. Everyone’s been instructed to steer clear.
The bomb seems pretty standard to Jessica except for the foot long cylindrical canister attached to it. There’s a window going down the side of the canister that shows it’s filled with a purple goo.
JESSICA
Okay, I need you to make sure no one and I mean NO ONE touches anything. Nobody moves or does anything.
The Lieutenant is angered by her glib speech.
LT. COOPER
Is that how they teach you to speak to an officer in EOD Corporal?
JESSICA
I don’t give a crap what you rank is right now... SIR! What I need right now is for you to listen to what I’m saying so I can save some lives!
The Lieutenant sees the truth in what she’s saying. He reluctantly backs down.
LT. COOPER
Should we don our NBC gear?
JESSICA
No! Do nothing!
Jessica kneels down to examine the canister there’s no distinguishing marks except for one small design that seems to be rubbed off. It seems to be a faded company logo. Her team hovers over her staring at the canister.
Lt. Cooper turns to leave, he knocks over a pile of rocks uncovering a wire that was buried in the dirt. The wire leads back to the bomb and is pulled taught by the LT’s actions. Jessica realizes what happens far too late. Horrified, she looks down at the canister, the lid slides open she is sprayed with the goo.
The bomb explodes.
INT. MILITARY HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT - WEEKS LATER
Jessica awakens startled. She looks around the dark room and realizes where she is. She notices nodes and wires attached to her body. She pulls them off. The machine by her bed BEEPS loudly. She knocks it over and it CRASHES to the ground then falls silent.
She sits upright in her bed as if contemplating her situation. She GASPS in an expression of discomfort. She wriggles around, reaching behind her to scratch her back. She looks at her fingers, they are covered in blood. She SCREAMS as her body lurches forward. She spasms again.
The skin between her shoulder blades is bleeding, it looks like two arms are trying to push their way out. She stops convulsing for a minute. She takes a couple deep breaths.
She lurches forward uncontrollably as two giant red wings burst from her back. She SCREAMS.
Three nurses rush in. Two of them attempt to hold her down while the third speaks in hushed tones in a phone at by the door.
She throws them across the room with no effort. The third nurse backs against the wall, terrified. Jessica is scared as well.
A MAN stands in shadow in the doorway. He waits for Jessica to settle down.
MAN
Good evening Jessica.
JESSICA
What is happening to me?
MAN
You seem eerily calm for a woman in your unique... predicament.
JESSICA
When you’re in my line of work, you get used to adapting and overcoming.
The man doesn’t move out of shadow, his face is obscured by darkness.
MAN
Yes, I’d imagine that’s true.
JESSICA
Where are the others? My team. Echo Company.
MAN
The’re dead. The blast radius was bigger than anyone could have anticipated. You, my dear, are the only survivor of the explosion.
She’s taken aback by this information. She regains her composure quickly.
JESSICA
What happens now?
MAN
That’s a good question, and it’s what I’m here to talk to you about.
The man steps into the dark room, closer to her bed. His face still obscured.
MAN (CONT’D)
I represent a group of people that would love to research your new... state of being. My facility is one uniquely equipped to help people with new and interesting physical attributes.
JESSICA
Who are you? Professor X or something?
MAN
Not specifically, but I am in a position to help you train and learn to utilize your talents for the so called “greater good”.
JESSICA
What’s the name of this facility?
MAN
For all their brains, my team couldn’t think of anything better than “The Facility”. I’m not asking you to make a decision now, just take my card.
He holds out a business card to her. She takes it.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Four Page Treatment: Crestfall
FOUR-PAGE TREATMENT: Crestfall
Written by: Timothy C.W. Runge
LOGLINE: Crestfall is a superheroine trying to uncover the conspiracy behind her origins.
GENRE: This is a superhero comic book
1. FOUR MAIN PLOT POINTS:
BEGINNING: Jessica Crest is a soldier in the Middle East, when she and her platoon investigate a roadside IED with a strange canister attached to it, there’s a fatal explosion and her entire platoon is wiped out. Jessica survives.
PLOT POINT I: Jessica awakens in a hospital to find she has wings and super powers, she’s recruited into a government training facility.
PLOT POINT II: Jessica (Crestfall) is beaten by a brute and dragged to the villain.
ENDING: Crestfall leaves a defeated Quitlove in the streets outside the police station and returns to her nightly vigil a top the roofs of Neon City.
2. DRAMATIC RECREATION – ACT I – SEQUENCE I:
It’s raining tonight in Neon City. Crestfall stands atop one of it’s many towering skyscrapers. The blue and purple neon tubing going down the side of the building cast an eerie glow on her. She has blood red angelic-like wings jutting from her back. She knees forward on a gargoyle perched on the ceiling and spreads her wings in the rainy night sky.
She pauses for a moment, listening. She launches herself in the air.
It’s quiet tonight in Neon City. Crestfall glides in between buildings, soaking in the night. The girl’s scream startles Crestfall at first. She hovers for a minute regaining her composure.
In an alley, a girl is surrounded by a group of thugs. It’s dark in the alley and only the flickering neon lights keep things illuminated. It’s a creepy look, flashing between yellow and green in a sporadic fashion. The thugs close in on her.
Crestfall drops in behind the thugs and proceeds to beat them up. She makes quick work of them and escorts the girl to cleanly lit streets. Crestfall flies back up to the rooftops. She contemplates her origins…
3. NARRATIVE SYNOPSIS – ACT I:
For the rest of act 1 we enter a flashback to a few years ago. Jessica Crest is in the Army in and EOD (explosive ordinance disposal) unit. We’re introduced to her unit and we understand that her job is to uncover and defuse IEDs (improvised explosive devices).
We see her team go through a practice run and diffuse a practice bomb.
They go out on a call to diffuse an odd IED found by an infantry patrol. Crest’s team gets out there and goes through their motions. This IED is different, there’s a green canister attached with an odd symbol half rubbed out. There’s a purple substance inside the canister. One of her team members remarks on how they’ve never seen anything like it before.
The explosion is bigger than anyone could have anticipated. Her entire team is engulfed in flames. Crest is drenched in the purple goo before the fireball hits her. She wakes up in a hospital a few weeks later.
4. DRAMATIC RECREATION – PLOT POINT I:
Crestfall wakes up startled. Her vision is blurry and she’s unaware of where she is. She suppresses her panic and surveys her surroundings. She’s sitting on a hospital bed. She’s attached to some monitoring devices. She’s alone in the room.
She lurches forward and screams in pain. Her back has two lumps that are sticking out between her shoulder blades.
Two fully formed red wings just from her back, fully extended. She screams in agony. Two nurses run into the room and hold her down. A third nurse jumps on the phone. Crest throws the two nurses off of her with ease. One of the nurses flies back into a wall, smacking his head and falling unconscious. The other two nurses run out of the room. Crest removes the nodes from her body and stand in the room. Her wings settling down as she regains her composure.
A man in a suit enters the room. He tells her that he can help her. He works with a facility that specializes in people with unique abilities. She takes his card.
5. LIST OF FOUR OBSTACLES – ACT II:
My second act is broken into two parts. The first part is Crestfall in The Facility, training. The second part is her breaking out of the facility and becoming a crime fighter in Neon City.
Her goal starts out as learning her new powers, then it becomes escaping The Facility, and at the end of the second act, her goal is to find the man responsible, Alexander Quitlove
1. Her obstacle at the beginning of act II is to overcome her own doubts about her abilities and the survivor’s guilt she feels.
2. After her training is underway she starts to notice a symbol posted everywhere, it matches the symbol on the canister that exploded. She discovers that the people training her are the people responsible for her condition.
3. After she escapes, she goes back to her hometown of Neon City, cleaning up the streets and questioning the seedy underbelly about details on the symbol and who might be behind it.
4. By the end of the act, she’s ready to face her foe but he’s more than ready for her.
6. NARRATIVE SYNOPSIS – ACT II:
Crest is taken to a secret facility. She’s given the codename: Crestfall and a special jumpsuit that accommodates for her wings. She learns through a series of tests how to control her wings for both flight and combat. She also finds she has enhanced strength, sight, and hearing. She starts to notice a symbol everywhere that she can’t quite recognize and the name of a company “Sinecorp”. She realizes this is the same symbol on the canister that held the purple goo. She overhears one of the doctors talking and comes to the realization that her “accident” was more on purpose.
She escapes from The Facility and heads back to her hometown of Neon City. This is also corporate headquarters for Sinecorp. She realizes that she won’t be able to make an appointment or go through traditional channels to get the information she needs. She starts to fight gang members and petty crooks and interrogates them for information on organized crime in the city. She’s not surprised to learn that all roads lead to Sinecorp CEO Alexander Quitlove.
She can only ask questions for so long before he realizes someone’s looking for him. Quitlove doesn’t like to be hunted, he prefers to hunt. He sends out The Brute, a hulking beast that has no conscious. He just destroys things.
The Brute shows up and fights with Crestfall. He makes short work of her. He beats her to near death and drags her to Quitlove’s office.
7. DRAMATIC RECREATION - PLOT POINT II:
A woman screams and Crestfall responds. She flies into the alley and sees a giant of a man towering over a woman. She punches him, injuring her fist. The giant man turns around, the woman runs off.
The giant man only says “Brute. Hurt.”
He swings his arm and knocks Crestfall through the side of a building. She flies out, head butting him. She falls to the ground. He is unfazed. He swipes at her again, and she flies through another wall. She gets up again, this time more slowly. He lumbers towards her. She holds her ground. He pulls his arm back to swing again and she lunges forward, her wings jut forward hitting him in the neck. He stumbles backwards and she jumps in the air, her foot outstretched to kick him. He grabs her leg and spins her around. He smashes her head into a pole. She goes limp, unconscious. He swings her around like a rag doll.
He stops, holding her leg while making sure she doesn’t respond. He walks down the street dragging her bloody, broken body behind him.
Satisfied with himself he says “Brute. Hurt.”
8. NARRATIVE SYNOPSIS – ACT III:
Crestfall, beaten and broken by Brute is dragged to Quitlove’s office and tied to a chair. Her wings shackled. She groggily comes to in a fancy office. Sitting across from her is the man who gave her his card when she awoke in the hospital. He identifies himself as Alexander Quitlove and tells Crestfall that he’s had his eye on her since she was very young. He goes on to explain that her parents were scientists for his company many years ago and that through an experiment unknown to them, their DNA had been altered. Crestfall was set up from birth to be his champion, she was only missing one more thing, the purple goo that was in the explosive. He facilitated Crestfalls transformation.
She thanks him because now she didn’t have to torture him for the information, she also didn’t have to break in and try to find his office. She breaks her binds and flexes her wings, shattering the shackles that held her down. She punches Quitlove in the face and he goes down.
Brute bursts through the wall. This time, Crestfall doesn’t hold back. She punches him a few times, he’s dazed and bleeding. He thrashes around furiously. She pokes his eyes with her wings and picks up Quitlove. She runs out of the office with him over her shoulders. Brute barrels into the hallway thrashing everything in sight. Crestfall stands in front of a scenic window and waits for Brute to come charging at her. She jumps out of the way and he runs through the window. He plummets to the ground from the top floor of one of Neon City’s highest skyscrapers.
She jumps out of the window with Quitlove and drops him off outside the police station. He’s screaming and yelling that he’ll admit everything. She drops him on the street. Two uniformed police officers come out side. Crestfall is nowhere to be found.
9. DRAMATIC RECREATION – ENDING SCENE:
It’s a clear night in Neon City. Crestfall stands on top of her favorite gargoyle in the city. Observing. She feels relieved for the first time in a while. Her friends’ deaths are avenged. Her mystery solved. All she has to do now is clean up the streets. She won’t let anyone sully her city again.
A man screams in the night. Crestfall smiles and leaps into the air.
Written by: Timothy C.W. Runge
LOGLINE: Crestfall is a superheroine trying to uncover the conspiracy behind her origins.
GENRE: This is a superhero comic book
1. FOUR MAIN PLOT POINTS:
BEGINNING: Jessica Crest is a soldier in the Middle East, when she and her platoon investigate a roadside IED with a strange canister attached to it, there’s a fatal explosion and her entire platoon is wiped out. Jessica survives.
PLOT POINT I: Jessica awakens in a hospital to find she has wings and super powers, she’s recruited into a government training facility.
PLOT POINT II: Jessica (Crestfall) is beaten by a brute and dragged to the villain.
ENDING: Crestfall leaves a defeated Quitlove in the streets outside the police station and returns to her nightly vigil a top the roofs of Neon City.
2. DRAMATIC RECREATION – ACT I – SEQUENCE I:
It’s raining tonight in Neon City. Crestfall stands atop one of it’s many towering skyscrapers. The blue and purple neon tubing going down the side of the building cast an eerie glow on her. She has blood red angelic-like wings jutting from her back. She knees forward on a gargoyle perched on the ceiling and spreads her wings in the rainy night sky.
She pauses for a moment, listening. She launches herself in the air.
It’s quiet tonight in Neon City. Crestfall glides in between buildings, soaking in the night. The girl’s scream startles Crestfall at first. She hovers for a minute regaining her composure.
In an alley, a girl is surrounded by a group of thugs. It’s dark in the alley and only the flickering neon lights keep things illuminated. It’s a creepy look, flashing between yellow and green in a sporadic fashion. The thugs close in on her.
Crestfall drops in behind the thugs and proceeds to beat them up. She makes quick work of them and escorts the girl to cleanly lit streets. Crestfall flies back up to the rooftops. She contemplates her origins…
3. NARRATIVE SYNOPSIS – ACT I:
For the rest of act 1 we enter a flashback to a few years ago. Jessica Crest is in the Army in and EOD (explosive ordinance disposal) unit. We’re introduced to her unit and we understand that her job is to uncover and defuse IEDs (improvised explosive devices).
We see her team go through a practice run and diffuse a practice bomb.
They go out on a call to diffuse an odd IED found by an infantry patrol. Crest’s team gets out there and goes through their motions. This IED is different, there’s a green canister attached with an odd symbol half rubbed out. There’s a purple substance inside the canister. One of her team members remarks on how they’ve never seen anything like it before.
The explosion is bigger than anyone could have anticipated. Her entire team is engulfed in flames. Crest is drenched in the purple goo before the fireball hits her. She wakes up in a hospital a few weeks later.
4. DRAMATIC RECREATION – PLOT POINT I:
Crestfall wakes up startled. Her vision is blurry and she’s unaware of where she is. She suppresses her panic and surveys her surroundings. She’s sitting on a hospital bed. She’s attached to some monitoring devices. She’s alone in the room.
She lurches forward and screams in pain. Her back has two lumps that are sticking out between her shoulder blades.
Two fully formed red wings just from her back, fully extended. She screams in agony. Two nurses run into the room and hold her down. A third nurse jumps on the phone. Crest throws the two nurses off of her with ease. One of the nurses flies back into a wall, smacking his head and falling unconscious. The other two nurses run out of the room. Crest removes the nodes from her body and stand in the room. Her wings settling down as she regains her composure.
A man in a suit enters the room. He tells her that he can help her. He works with a facility that specializes in people with unique abilities. She takes his card.
5. LIST OF FOUR OBSTACLES – ACT II:
My second act is broken into two parts. The first part is Crestfall in The Facility, training. The second part is her breaking out of the facility and becoming a crime fighter in Neon City.
Her goal starts out as learning her new powers, then it becomes escaping The Facility, and at the end of the second act, her goal is to find the man responsible, Alexander Quitlove
1. Her obstacle at the beginning of act II is to overcome her own doubts about her abilities and the survivor’s guilt she feels.
2. After her training is underway she starts to notice a symbol posted everywhere, it matches the symbol on the canister that exploded. She discovers that the people training her are the people responsible for her condition.
3. After she escapes, she goes back to her hometown of Neon City, cleaning up the streets and questioning the seedy underbelly about details on the symbol and who might be behind it.
4. By the end of the act, she’s ready to face her foe but he’s more than ready for her.
6. NARRATIVE SYNOPSIS – ACT II:
Crest is taken to a secret facility. She’s given the codename: Crestfall and a special jumpsuit that accommodates for her wings. She learns through a series of tests how to control her wings for both flight and combat. She also finds she has enhanced strength, sight, and hearing. She starts to notice a symbol everywhere that she can’t quite recognize and the name of a company “Sinecorp”. She realizes this is the same symbol on the canister that held the purple goo. She overhears one of the doctors talking and comes to the realization that her “accident” was more on purpose.
She escapes from The Facility and heads back to her hometown of Neon City. This is also corporate headquarters for Sinecorp. She realizes that she won’t be able to make an appointment or go through traditional channels to get the information she needs. She starts to fight gang members and petty crooks and interrogates them for information on organized crime in the city. She’s not surprised to learn that all roads lead to Sinecorp CEO Alexander Quitlove.
She can only ask questions for so long before he realizes someone’s looking for him. Quitlove doesn’t like to be hunted, he prefers to hunt. He sends out The Brute, a hulking beast that has no conscious. He just destroys things.
The Brute shows up and fights with Crestfall. He makes short work of her. He beats her to near death and drags her to Quitlove’s office.
7. DRAMATIC RECREATION - PLOT POINT II:
A woman screams and Crestfall responds. She flies into the alley and sees a giant of a man towering over a woman. She punches him, injuring her fist. The giant man turns around, the woman runs off.
The giant man only says “Brute. Hurt.”
He swings his arm and knocks Crestfall through the side of a building. She flies out, head butting him. She falls to the ground. He is unfazed. He swipes at her again, and she flies through another wall. She gets up again, this time more slowly. He lumbers towards her. She holds her ground. He pulls his arm back to swing again and she lunges forward, her wings jut forward hitting him in the neck. He stumbles backwards and she jumps in the air, her foot outstretched to kick him. He grabs her leg and spins her around. He smashes her head into a pole. She goes limp, unconscious. He swings her around like a rag doll.
He stops, holding her leg while making sure she doesn’t respond. He walks down the street dragging her bloody, broken body behind him.
Satisfied with himself he says “Brute. Hurt.”
8. NARRATIVE SYNOPSIS – ACT III:
Crestfall, beaten and broken by Brute is dragged to Quitlove’s office and tied to a chair. Her wings shackled. She groggily comes to in a fancy office. Sitting across from her is the man who gave her his card when she awoke in the hospital. He identifies himself as Alexander Quitlove and tells Crestfall that he’s had his eye on her since she was very young. He goes on to explain that her parents were scientists for his company many years ago and that through an experiment unknown to them, their DNA had been altered. Crestfall was set up from birth to be his champion, she was only missing one more thing, the purple goo that was in the explosive. He facilitated Crestfalls transformation.
She thanks him because now she didn’t have to torture him for the information, she also didn’t have to break in and try to find his office. She breaks her binds and flexes her wings, shattering the shackles that held her down. She punches Quitlove in the face and he goes down.
Brute bursts through the wall. This time, Crestfall doesn’t hold back. She punches him a few times, he’s dazed and bleeding. He thrashes around furiously. She pokes his eyes with her wings and picks up Quitlove. She runs out of the office with him over her shoulders. Brute barrels into the hallway thrashing everything in sight. Crestfall stands in front of a scenic window and waits for Brute to come charging at her. She jumps out of the way and he runs through the window. He plummets to the ground from the top floor of one of Neon City’s highest skyscrapers.
She jumps out of the window with Quitlove and drops him off outside the police station. He’s screaming and yelling that he’ll admit everything. She drops him on the street. Two uniformed police officers come out side. Crestfall is nowhere to be found.
9. DRAMATIC RECREATION – ENDING SCENE:
It’s a clear night in Neon City. Crestfall stands on top of her favorite gargoyle in the city. Observing. She feels relieved for the first time in a while. Her friends’ deaths are avenged. Her mystery solved. All she has to do now is clean up the streets. She won’t let anyone sully her city again.
A man screams in the night. Crestfall smiles and leaps into the air.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
No Dialogue!
This is what I ended up writing based on the criteria from the last post.
Oliver slumps into his chair with a huff. He grabs the remote and clicks on the television. Samantha enters the room behind him, eyes red, tears ruining her mascara.
She attempts to speak but can’t find the words. She runs out of the room before she loses her composure again.
Oliver stares at the television, unblinking. He cycles through channel after channel. He throws the remote down and walks back to the kitchen.
The remote control hits the table and changes the channel to static “snow”. Oliver doesn’t register the sound.
In the bedroom, Samantha looks down at the two halves of the commemorative plate. The plate reads “To my son, I’ve never been more proud! – Dad”. Her tears flow more freely and drip onto the two halves.
Oliver sweeps up tiny shards of the broken plate. As he empties the dustpan, he notices a drop of blood on the counter.
Samantha is crying very hard. She’s squeezing the halves of the plates. She doesn’t notice the blood running down her palms.
Oliver runs in. He grabs the halves and throws them into the hallway, shattering them beyond repair. He wraps her hands in bandages. They sit on the edge of the bed together.
Oliver embraces his wife.
They cry.
Oliver slumps into his chair with a huff. He grabs the remote and clicks on the television. Samantha enters the room behind him, eyes red, tears ruining her mascara.
She attempts to speak but can’t find the words. She runs out of the room before she loses her composure again.
Oliver stares at the television, unblinking. He cycles through channel after channel. He throws the remote down and walks back to the kitchen.
The remote control hits the table and changes the channel to static “snow”. Oliver doesn’t register the sound.
In the bedroom, Samantha looks down at the two halves of the commemorative plate. The plate reads “To my son, I’ve never been more proud! – Dad”. Her tears flow more freely and drip onto the two halves.
Oliver sweeps up tiny shards of the broken plate. As he empties the dustpan, he notices a drop of blood on the counter.
Samantha is crying very hard. She’s squeezing the halves of the plates. She doesn’t notice the blood running down her palms.
Oliver runs in. He grabs the halves and throws them into the hallway, shattering them beyond repair. He wraps her hands in bandages. They sit on the edge of the bed together.
Oliver embraces his wife.
They cry.
No Dialogue! (a set-up)
So this week's class post was a puzzler for sure.
Here's what I was dealing with:
1. Here’s the set up: Oliver and Samantha have just had a huge fight. In the end, one of them makes up with the other. They can be lovers, friends, father and daughter, brother and sister or even strangers.
2. In your scene, I want you to try to make it clear what the fight was about and resolve the argument, but without any dialogue. One of them needs to make up with the other, and I’ll leave it to you to decide what the argument was about and how they resolve it.
3. You can write your scene in word, but remember that in order to avoid dialogue, you need ACTION. So don’t describe what they’re feeling or anything else internal – we have to see what they do, not what they think! And don't set up the scene for us, just dive right in!
4. Write it as if you were writing the description in Final Draft: That means write in the present tense, keep your paragraphs short and don't give us internal feelings/thoughts.
5. Next, post your scene.
So I grumbled for a few minutes then I wrote my next post...
Here's what I was dealing with:
1. Here’s the set up: Oliver and Samantha have just had a huge fight. In the end, one of them makes up with the other. They can be lovers, friends, father and daughter, brother and sister or even strangers.
2. In your scene, I want you to try to make it clear what the fight was about and resolve the argument, but without any dialogue. One of them needs to make up with the other, and I’ll leave it to you to decide what the argument was about and how they resolve it.
3. You can write your scene in word, but remember that in order to avoid dialogue, you need ACTION. So don’t describe what they’re feeling or anything else internal – we have to see what they do, not what they think! And don't set up the scene for us, just dive right in!
4. Write it as if you were writing the description in Final Draft: That means write in the present tense, keep your paragraphs short and don't give us internal feelings/thoughts.
5. Next, post your scene.
So I grumbled for a few minutes then I wrote my next post...
Monday, September 5, 2011
Quitlove Bio
For my class last month I had to craft a bio for my protagonist and my antagonist. I surprised myself when I realized that I had created the perfect villain months ago while working on my film degree. I just tweaked Quitlove's history a bit and made him younger. Here's what I wrote for Quitlove's bio:
Most people see Alexander Quitlove and don’t think of him as anything more than the face of a money grubbing corporation. But that just isn’t true. Alexander Quitlove went from being the billionaire heir to a successful light store to the President’s own “go-to” guy for private security. But how did he get here? The roots of Quitlove’s story reaches back to the story of Neon City itself.
Most people may not know that the roots of Neon City reach back to the California Gold Rush in 1850. Then it was known as Shimmering Pointe and it was primarily used as a train stop for people passing through looking to make their fortunes. Some people couldn’t afford to move on and they stuck around. The small train stop grew to a small town in no time.
Then in 1898, a discovery was made that would change the course of the town forever: neon. In 1910, neon lights started to hit the market and a young man by the name of Phineas Quitlove jumped on the bandwagon. He quickly made his company the frontrunner in neon sales and he based his headquarters out of Shimmering Pointe. During the Great Depression, Quitlove found himself in the only lucrative business Shimmering Point had. His wealth and income helped moved the town through the hard times and as a show of respect and honor, they renamed the town “Neon City”.
After his passing, the company passed from generation to generation. In the late 50’s the company went to Neville. Neville never lost sight of his grandfather’s neon business but it never suited Neville. He began utilizing facilities for weapons manufacturing. He quickly became one of the leading suppliers of weapons to the United States military.
Neville stepped down from Sinecorp in 1985. Passing the reigns to his son Alexander. Alex was the first of the Quitlove family to really anticipate the pressures of running a company. From an early age, the thought of being in charge of his family’s legacy sent chills of excitement down his spine. He worked hard in high school and he graduated with honors. From there he went on to get a master degree in business. After he got his degree he used his assets to help secure some work with some of the biggest names on the Fortune 500 list. He got many pointers from those that many consider the best of the best in the business world. Alexander would not settle for a weapons contract and some blinking lights. His vision was for a far grander scheme. He would turn his family’s legacy into an empire.
Alexander refocused the Sinecorp research department (lead by famous physicist Doctor Richard Crest) to search for new “anythings”. He assembled a kind of brain trust and gave them an outline stated that anything goes. No idea was too ridiculous, no idea would be thrown out. He wanted everything from paint, to chewing gum, water guns, to galvanized nails. He paid the top thinkers in the world, to think and find out what the public wanted, before they even knew they wanted it.
His anticipatory committee was responsible for many many things, most of those things you all have in your homes now. You may not know it but Sinecorp is one of the leading suppliers of baby powder and washcloths in the United States alone. They broke records last year with toiletry exports to Canada and they are currently in negotiations with China concerning a new beauty product that not only removes wrinkles, and may make scars disappear for good. Because of the patents they’ve acquired over the course of the last 30 years, Alexander Quitlove took a government weapons supplier and turned it into one of the biggest corporations to explode out of the 1980’s.
It hasn’t been all rainbows and ponies for Alexander Quitlove though. After a very public falling out between himself and Dr. Crest, Quitlove had to re-focus his efforts a bit. It appeared that Dr. Crest may have come up with quite a bit of the patents himself and he felt that he wasn’t getting the recognition he was owed. After a lawsuit was settled out of court, Dr. Crest and his wife went on to work in the private sector. Five years ago while on vacation, Dr. Crest and his wife died in a car accident. They left behind a daughter named Jessica who is serving her country now in the United States Army.
After the debacle with Dr. Crest, Quitlove started a personal security force. They worked like Sinecorp’s own personal police force and it’s nothing unheard of in the corporate world. The only difference was that Quitlove’s police force seemed to be more dedicated, more intense. There were rumblings concerning an unconfirmed attempt at a robbery in one of Sinecorp’s warehouses. His security force was rumored to have swept in with military precision and not only non-lethally take out the would be robbers, but they repaired all the damage, swept up, and turned the lights off on their way out.
It’s unsure if this event may or may not have been the catalyst but two years ago, the President of the United States did something unheard of. He relieved his normal Marine Corps guard of duty and hired Sinecorp’s private security to watch over him full time. This caused quite a bit of controversy as I’m sure most of our readers will be well aware. Regardless of how we feel about it, that’s the way things are now.
Alexander Quitlove is not just another face on a company. He’s not another figurehead for capitalism. Quitlove is a calculating genius. He’s been trained by the best minds to be one of the most savvy businessmen of our time. He’s stepped out of his father’s shadow and into his father’s shoes. He’s become the man his family always wished he could be. And he’s the model for every business owner out there. He may have made himself the most powerful man in the nation. And there’s nothing we can do to stop him now.
Most people see Alexander Quitlove and don’t think of him as anything more than the face of a money grubbing corporation. But that just isn’t true. Alexander Quitlove went from being the billionaire heir to a successful light store to the President’s own “go-to” guy for private security. But how did he get here? The roots of Quitlove’s story reaches back to the story of Neon City itself.
Most people may not know that the roots of Neon City reach back to the California Gold Rush in 1850. Then it was known as Shimmering Pointe and it was primarily used as a train stop for people passing through looking to make their fortunes. Some people couldn’t afford to move on and they stuck around. The small train stop grew to a small town in no time.
Then in 1898, a discovery was made that would change the course of the town forever: neon. In 1910, neon lights started to hit the market and a young man by the name of Phineas Quitlove jumped on the bandwagon. He quickly made his company the frontrunner in neon sales and he based his headquarters out of Shimmering Pointe. During the Great Depression, Quitlove found himself in the only lucrative business Shimmering Point had. His wealth and income helped moved the town through the hard times and as a show of respect and honor, they renamed the town “Neon City”.
After his passing, the company passed from generation to generation. In the late 50’s the company went to Neville. Neville never lost sight of his grandfather’s neon business but it never suited Neville. He began utilizing facilities for weapons manufacturing. He quickly became one of the leading suppliers of weapons to the United States military.
Neville stepped down from Sinecorp in 1985. Passing the reigns to his son Alexander. Alex was the first of the Quitlove family to really anticipate the pressures of running a company. From an early age, the thought of being in charge of his family’s legacy sent chills of excitement down his spine. He worked hard in high school and he graduated with honors. From there he went on to get a master degree in business. After he got his degree he used his assets to help secure some work with some of the biggest names on the Fortune 500 list. He got many pointers from those that many consider the best of the best in the business world. Alexander would not settle for a weapons contract and some blinking lights. His vision was for a far grander scheme. He would turn his family’s legacy into an empire.
Alexander refocused the Sinecorp research department (lead by famous physicist Doctor Richard Crest) to search for new “anythings”. He assembled a kind of brain trust and gave them an outline stated that anything goes. No idea was too ridiculous, no idea would be thrown out. He wanted everything from paint, to chewing gum, water guns, to galvanized nails. He paid the top thinkers in the world, to think and find out what the public wanted, before they even knew they wanted it.
His anticipatory committee was responsible for many many things, most of those things you all have in your homes now. You may not know it but Sinecorp is one of the leading suppliers of baby powder and washcloths in the United States alone. They broke records last year with toiletry exports to Canada and they are currently in negotiations with China concerning a new beauty product that not only removes wrinkles, and may make scars disappear for good. Because of the patents they’ve acquired over the course of the last 30 years, Alexander Quitlove took a government weapons supplier and turned it into one of the biggest corporations to explode out of the 1980’s.
It hasn’t been all rainbows and ponies for Alexander Quitlove though. After a very public falling out between himself and Dr. Crest, Quitlove had to re-focus his efforts a bit. It appeared that Dr. Crest may have come up with quite a bit of the patents himself and he felt that he wasn’t getting the recognition he was owed. After a lawsuit was settled out of court, Dr. Crest and his wife went on to work in the private sector. Five years ago while on vacation, Dr. Crest and his wife died in a car accident. They left behind a daughter named Jessica who is serving her country now in the United States Army.
After the debacle with Dr. Crest, Quitlove started a personal security force. They worked like Sinecorp’s own personal police force and it’s nothing unheard of in the corporate world. The only difference was that Quitlove’s police force seemed to be more dedicated, more intense. There were rumblings concerning an unconfirmed attempt at a robbery in one of Sinecorp’s warehouses. His security force was rumored to have swept in with military precision and not only non-lethally take out the would be robbers, but they repaired all the damage, swept up, and turned the lights off on their way out.
It’s unsure if this event may or may not have been the catalyst but two years ago, the President of the United States did something unheard of. He relieved his normal Marine Corps guard of duty and hired Sinecorp’s private security to watch over him full time. This caused quite a bit of controversy as I’m sure most of our readers will be well aware. Regardless of how we feel about it, that’s the way things are now.
Alexander Quitlove is not just another face on a company. He’s not another figurehead for capitalism. Quitlove is a calculating genius. He’s been trained by the best minds to be one of the most savvy businessmen of our time. He’s stepped out of his father’s shadow and into his father’s shoes. He’s become the man his family always wished he could be. And he’s the model for every business owner out there. He may have made himself the most powerful man in the nation. And there’s nothing we can do to stop him now.
Crestfall Bio
For my class last month I had to craft a bio for my protagonist and my antagonist. Here's what I wrote for Crestfall:
Jessica Crest grew up in the 80’s. If you were to ask her, she’d tell you that there were no real anomalies or abnormalities with her upbringing and she wouldn’t be wrong in saying so. Her father was a leading research scientist for Sinecorp in the sprawling metropolis of Neon City.
Sinecorp was the premiere pharmaceutical research corporation in the world during the 80’s, and the research that Richard Crest brought to the table proved invaluable. Richard’s foremost field of study was the effects different chemicals had on rats in a controlled environment. His study went into cosmetics, paint, and even some electrical equipment. His knowledge helped Sinecorp grow from a reputable science lab, to a heavy competitor in the corporate business world.
Jessica’s mother, Kelly, was also a scientist who’s knowledge rivaled that of her husband. She’d backed out of research full time to focus on raising Jessica. She would do some independent consulting for smaller clients from time to time, and she would help Richard on some projects until he made one of his “breakthroughs”.
They weren’t the Rockwellian picture of the perfect American family, but they loved each other very much and they figured that, in many ways, was better for them.
Jessica did very well in elementary school. She was polite to the teachers, made friends quickly, and always managed to get her homework done. She got along with almost everyone, except the bullies.
Jessica didn’t like it when the bigger kids, like Jimmy McMillon, pushed around the smaller ones. It never seemed fair to her. One day, she’d decided that she’d had enough.
Jimmy was picking on a young boy far smaller than Jimmy himself. Jimmy demanded all of the money the young boy had. Through a stream of tears, the boy explained that he had no money to give to Jimmy, so Jimmy knocked the boy to the ground and dumped a bag of garbage on him.
Jimmy turned around, clearly pleased with himself, and saw Jessica standing in front of him. He smiled a coy smile.
“What? Did you want a piece of this?” He asked her.
She said nothing, she just stepped up to him and punched him in the crotch. Jimmy fell over in tears. Jessica helped the young boy to his feet and brushed him off. She never spoke of this to anyone.
When she was about 15 years old, her father lost his job. He never spoke of it and she never got any real details. It confused her. She knew her father loved his job and he made good money. He was fairly reputable in his field too. She couldn’t understand how anyone would let a wonderful man like her father go.
Richard and Kelly began taking on more independent work. They would study the effects of chemicals and fumes on rats and mice and other small rodents in the lab they had built in their basement.
On a day that Jessica would always remember, a man in a black suit came to the door. Strangers were often coming to visit her parents and she never really thought about it. But this man seemed different. His shoes were polished, and his shirt was pressed. His bow tie was a bright against the black of the suit. He wore extremely dark aviator sunglasses and the way he towered over her made her feel smaller than she had ever felt in her life. When her father saw the man he barked at her to go into her room and stay there.
Her father and the man argued for a long time. She couldn’t hear the specifics but every now and then she catch certain key words like “personal policy”, “not that kind of research”, and “weapons”. She was no genius but she put the pieces together fairly quickly. This man was trying to hire her father for some kind of weapons research and her father would have nothing of it. She smiled. Her father would always be around to protect her.
The next morning her father busted into her room and told her they were going to visit her grandparents. She was startled, but she was excited to see them. She grabbed a suitcase and started packing some items. Her father stopped her and told her to only grab a few things. He ushered Jessica and Kelly out to the car and drove to the countryside to visit his parents. Neither of her parents spoke on the car ride and that made Jessica uncomfortable, but she knew she could trust her parents to protect her.
Her grandmother greeted Jessica with a big hug and a freshly baked cookie. Jessica ran inside to eat a few more.
When she was inside, Richard gave his mother a kiss on the forehead. She was crying but promised to stay strong for Jessica. He thanked her for watching his little girl then he and his wife got back in the car and drove away. They didn’t say “goodbye”.
Jessica was heartbroken. She didn’t understand why her parents had left her behind. She was old enough to understand, wasn’t she? Her grandparents calmed her down and they played board games into the evening. Her grandmother answered a phone call late into the evening. She gave out a startled gasp and ran to the living room. She turned on the TV.
On the local news station, there was footage of a car on fire, plumes of smoke billowing up through the sunroof. The ticker along the bottom of the screen proclaimed that a loud explosion was heard just minutes ago. Now this car was on fire. There appeared to be two unidentified people inside the car and the police would keep them updated as often as they could.
The car belonged to Richard and Kelly Crest.
It took Jessica a while to get over the death of her parents. She focused all of energy into her studies and she graduated high school at the top of her class. When she turned 18, she went to the Army recruiting station and signed up for Explosive Ordinance Disposal. That’s when her life really changed.
Jessica Crest grew up in the 80’s. If you were to ask her, she’d tell you that there were no real anomalies or abnormalities with her upbringing and she wouldn’t be wrong in saying so. Her father was a leading research scientist for Sinecorp in the sprawling metropolis of Neon City.
Sinecorp was the premiere pharmaceutical research corporation in the world during the 80’s, and the research that Richard Crest brought to the table proved invaluable. Richard’s foremost field of study was the effects different chemicals had on rats in a controlled environment. His study went into cosmetics, paint, and even some electrical equipment. His knowledge helped Sinecorp grow from a reputable science lab, to a heavy competitor in the corporate business world.
Jessica’s mother, Kelly, was also a scientist who’s knowledge rivaled that of her husband. She’d backed out of research full time to focus on raising Jessica. She would do some independent consulting for smaller clients from time to time, and she would help Richard on some projects until he made one of his “breakthroughs”.
They weren’t the Rockwellian picture of the perfect American family, but they loved each other very much and they figured that, in many ways, was better for them.
Jessica did very well in elementary school. She was polite to the teachers, made friends quickly, and always managed to get her homework done. She got along with almost everyone, except the bullies.
Jessica didn’t like it when the bigger kids, like Jimmy McMillon, pushed around the smaller ones. It never seemed fair to her. One day, she’d decided that she’d had enough.
Jimmy was picking on a young boy far smaller than Jimmy himself. Jimmy demanded all of the money the young boy had. Through a stream of tears, the boy explained that he had no money to give to Jimmy, so Jimmy knocked the boy to the ground and dumped a bag of garbage on him.
Jimmy turned around, clearly pleased with himself, and saw Jessica standing in front of him. He smiled a coy smile.
“What? Did you want a piece of this?” He asked her.
She said nothing, she just stepped up to him and punched him in the crotch. Jimmy fell over in tears. Jessica helped the young boy to his feet and brushed him off. She never spoke of this to anyone.
When she was about 15 years old, her father lost his job. He never spoke of it and she never got any real details. It confused her. She knew her father loved his job and he made good money. He was fairly reputable in his field too. She couldn’t understand how anyone would let a wonderful man like her father go.
Richard and Kelly began taking on more independent work. They would study the effects of chemicals and fumes on rats and mice and other small rodents in the lab they had built in their basement.
On a day that Jessica would always remember, a man in a black suit came to the door. Strangers were often coming to visit her parents and she never really thought about it. But this man seemed different. His shoes were polished, and his shirt was pressed. His bow tie was a bright against the black of the suit. He wore extremely dark aviator sunglasses and the way he towered over her made her feel smaller than she had ever felt in her life. When her father saw the man he barked at her to go into her room and stay there.
Her father and the man argued for a long time. She couldn’t hear the specifics but every now and then she catch certain key words like “personal policy”, “not that kind of research”, and “weapons”. She was no genius but she put the pieces together fairly quickly. This man was trying to hire her father for some kind of weapons research and her father would have nothing of it. She smiled. Her father would always be around to protect her.
The next morning her father busted into her room and told her they were going to visit her grandparents. She was startled, but she was excited to see them. She grabbed a suitcase and started packing some items. Her father stopped her and told her to only grab a few things. He ushered Jessica and Kelly out to the car and drove to the countryside to visit his parents. Neither of her parents spoke on the car ride and that made Jessica uncomfortable, but she knew she could trust her parents to protect her.
Her grandmother greeted Jessica with a big hug and a freshly baked cookie. Jessica ran inside to eat a few more.
When she was inside, Richard gave his mother a kiss on the forehead. She was crying but promised to stay strong for Jessica. He thanked her for watching his little girl then he and his wife got back in the car and drove away. They didn’t say “goodbye”.
Jessica was heartbroken. She didn’t understand why her parents had left her behind. She was old enough to understand, wasn’t she? Her grandparents calmed her down and they played board games into the evening. Her grandmother answered a phone call late into the evening. She gave out a startled gasp and ran to the living room. She turned on the TV.
On the local news station, there was footage of a car on fire, plumes of smoke billowing up through the sunroof. The ticker along the bottom of the screen proclaimed that a loud explosion was heard just minutes ago. Now this car was on fire. There appeared to be two unidentified people inside the car and the police would keep them updated as often as they could.
The car belonged to Richard and Kelly Crest.
It took Jessica a while to get over the death of her parents. She focused all of energy into her studies and she graduated high school at the top of her class. When she turned 18, she went to the Army recruiting station and signed up for Explosive Ordinance Disposal. That’s when her life really changed.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Crestfall Description
My assignment this week was to write a description of Crestfall in the format of my thesis.
Here it is.
Crestfall Description:
PAGE 1 (FOUR PANELS)
Page 1, Panel 1.
A wide panel. An extreme close up side shot of Crestfall’s face. She’s got a grey hood that reaches down to the middle of her forehead, her cropped brown hair hangs down intently above her eyebrows. Her attention is focused straight ahead.
CAPTION 1:
This is her city.
Page 1, Panel 2.
A wide panel. A straight ECU on her eyes. They are intense. Her irises are purple. She’s squinting in an almost Clint Eastwood-like manner.
CAPTION 2:
This is her calling.
Page 1, Panel 3.
A wide panel. A close up of her back. Her grey hoodie has two holes in the shoulder blades that have been cut out to make room for two massive angel-like wings. The only difference is that Crestfall’s wings are red.
SFX 1:
AAAAHHHHHHH
CAPTION 3:
Neon City sings her song.
Page 1, Panel 4.
A wide panel ECU on her mouth. She gives a toothy grin. Her teeth are straight and perfect. Her grin isn’t sinister, but anxious.
CAPTION 4:
This is her passion.
PAGES 2 AND 3 (DOUBLE SPLASH PAGE)
Pages 2 and 3 (no panels)
A double splash page from the streets looking straight up. Crestfall has leapt into the air. Her wings spread. It’s night time in Neon City and the moon is positioned directly behind her giving her a “bat signal” kind of outline. The tall skyscrapers have multi colored neon piping going down the sides of them, many buildings have neon ads on the roof.
CAPTION 1:
This isn’t the story of how Crestfall came to be.
CAPTION 2:
This is a love story.
CAPTION 3:
A love story between a woman and her city.
PAGE 4 (5 PANELS)
Page 4, Panel 1
Normal panel with gang members crowded around a woman who clutches her purse.
CAPTION 1:
This is her home.
Page 4, Panel 2
Normal panel. Crestfall is behind them. You can see her in full frame. Her grey hoodie and sweatpants cover a low tech jumpsuit. She stands at about 5 foot 7 and has a small frame. Her wingspan is impressive (I leave that to the artist). She has no weapons.
CAPTION 2:
Time to take out the garbage.
Page 4, Panel 3
A wide panel. Crestfall is leaning forward, she reaches forward with her wings and knocks out a gang member with the force.
SFX 1:
THWACK!
Page 4, Panel 4
Normal panel. Crestfall’s fist is buried in a gang member’s face.
SFX 2:
CRUNCH!
Page 4, Panel 5
Normal panel. Her foot connects with another gang member’s crotch.
SFX 3:
SNAP!
PAGE 5 (FOUR PANELS)
Page 5, Panel 1
Wide panel. Crestfall stands in the alley, the gang members at her feet. The woman is a corner still clutching her purse. Tears fall down her face. At the end of the alley, red and blue lights paint the walls.
CAPTION 1:
She loves her city.
Page 5, Panel 2
Normal panel. Crestfall reaches down towards the woman’s outstretched hand.
Page 5, Panel 3
Normal panel, Crestfall stands face to face with a female police officer.
CAPTION 2:
She’ll do anything she has to in order to protect it...
Page 5, Panel 4
The panel fills the rest of the page. Crestfall and the police officer shake hands.
CAPTION 3:
...and Neon City loves her in return.
Here it is.
Crestfall Description:
PAGE 1 (FOUR PANELS)
Page 1, Panel 1.
A wide panel. An extreme close up side shot of Crestfall’s face. She’s got a grey hood that reaches down to the middle of her forehead, her cropped brown hair hangs down intently above her eyebrows. Her attention is focused straight ahead.
CAPTION 1:
This is her city.
Page 1, Panel 2.
A wide panel. A straight ECU on her eyes. They are intense. Her irises are purple. She’s squinting in an almost Clint Eastwood-like manner.
CAPTION 2:
This is her calling.
Page 1, Panel 3.
A wide panel. A close up of her back. Her grey hoodie has two holes in the shoulder blades that have been cut out to make room for two massive angel-like wings. The only difference is that Crestfall’s wings are red.
SFX 1:
AAAAHHHHHHH
CAPTION 3:
Neon City sings her song.
Page 1, Panel 4.
A wide panel ECU on her mouth. She gives a toothy grin. Her teeth are straight and perfect. Her grin isn’t sinister, but anxious.
CAPTION 4:
This is her passion.
PAGES 2 AND 3 (DOUBLE SPLASH PAGE)
Pages 2 and 3 (no panels)
A double splash page from the streets looking straight up. Crestfall has leapt into the air. Her wings spread. It’s night time in Neon City and the moon is positioned directly behind her giving her a “bat signal” kind of outline. The tall skyscrapers have multi colored neon piping going down the sides of them, many buildings have neon ads on the roof.
CAPTION 1:
This isn’t the story of how Crestfall came to be.
CAPTION 2:
This is a love story.
CAPTION 3:
A love story between a woman and her city.
PAGE 4 (5 PANELS)
Page 4, Panel 1
Normal panel with gang members crowded around a woman who clutches her purse.
CAPTION 1:
This is her home.
Page 4, Panel 2
Normal panel. Crestfall is behind them. You can see her in full frame. Her grey hoodie and sweatpants cover a low tech jumpsuit. She stands at about 5 foot 7 and has a small frame. Her wingspan is impressive (I leave that to the artist). She has no weapons.
CAPTION 2:
Time to take out the garbage.
Page 4, Panel 3
A wide panel. Crestfall is leaning forward, she reaches forward with her wings and knocks out a gang member with the force.
SFX 1:
THWACK!
Page 4, Panel 4
Normal panel. Crestfall’s fist is buried in a gang member’s face.
SFX 2:
CRUNCH!
Page 4, Panel 5
Normal panel. Her foot connects with another gang member’s crotch.
SFX 3:
SNAP!
PAGE 5 (FOUR PANELS)
Page 5, Panel 1
Wide panel. Crestfall stands in the alley, the gang members at her feet. The woman is a corner still clutching her purse. Tears fall down her face. At the end of the alley, red and blue lights paint the walls.
CAPTION 1:
She loves her city.
Page 5, Panel 2
Normal panel. Crestfall reaches down towards the woman’s outstretched hand.
Page 5, Panel 3
Normal panel, Crestfall stands face to face with a female police officer.
CAPTION 2:
She’ll do anything she has to in order to protect it...
Page 5, Panel 4
The panel fills the rest of the page. Crestfall and the police officer shake hands.
CAPTION 3:
...and Neon City loves her in return.
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