Felling good about Quitlove for the most part. It's due tomorrow at midnight. Supposed to be 5-9 pages, I clocked in halfway down page 8.
Teddy might help me pitch it for next month and Stan said he might be up for it too. If it's picked that means that we get to spend the next two months shooting it. So wish me luck if you'd like.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Quitlove Conquered the World
INT. WORLD PRESIDENT’S OFFICE - Day
There is a man at a desk behind a mountain of paperwork. Late 30’s-early 40’s. His dress shirt’s top button is undone, his tie hangs loosely tied around his neck. This man is PHINEAS QUITLOVE, World President. As Quitlove muses over the work staked in front of him, his assistant VALERIE, who’s in her late 20’s to early 30’s enters carrying a small stack of papers.
VALERIE
I have some more paperwork for you sir.
QUITLOVE
Oh really Val? Do you really have more? Why thank you! It’s so nice to know I can rely on you to help alleviate my stress!
Valerie
It comes with the job sir.
QUITLOVE
How do you know what comes with the job? I’m the first one!
INT. RECEPTION HALLWAY – Day
We’re following FOOTSTEPS down a hallway towards a reception desk. The person we’re following is KRISTINE, Quitlove’s college freshman daughter. As she approaches the desk a radio CRACKLES. The DJ is a political commentator named TANNER COLLINS (age 20s-30s) his co-host is PHIL (age 20’s-30’s).
TANNER (V.O.)
So here we are, it’s been just over a year since our beloved world leader Phineas Quitlove took over in a somewhat public, shall we call it “hostile takeover”. Phil?
PHIL (V.O.)
That’s true Connor and we have yet to see exactly what this administration actually has planned. I mean, who died and made this guy boss?
Tanner and Phil LAUGH NERVOUSLY
TANNER (V.O)
It seems like just about everyone Phil! Let’s not forget that before His Eminence took office, he was the leader of the most efficient criminal task force the world had ever seen.
At the desk Kristine holds up her badge to THE RECEPTIONIST (in her 20’s) who checks the computer system. Kristine grows impatient.
PHIL (V.O.)
At this point Tanner I think it’s essential to point out that it wasn’t a police task force against criminals, it was a task force made entirely of criminals!
TANNER (V.O.)
Very interesting point! We’ll touch on that after the break. The time is now 1:42pm. This is Tanner Collins.
Kristine is visibly irritated at waiting this long.
KRISTINE
Excuse me! I know you’re very busy trying to catch up on the latest quiz in Cosmo or whatever but I need to get in to see him!
RECEPTIONIST
I’m sorry miss, I’m trying to process it as quickly as I can but these things take time. He isn’t everyone’s favorite person at this point.
INT. WORLD PRESIDENT’S OFFICE – Day
Quitlove sits head in hand as he half-heartedly signs various papers. Valerie is looking busy. In a huff he SNAPS his writing utensil in half.
QUITLOVE
Would someone like to explain to me why on Earth we have so many pages dedicated to keeping track of paperclips!
VALERIE
It’s part of the job sir.
QUITLOVE
Stop saying that!
In a fit of anger he SWIPES a stack of papers off his desk making a mess. He takes a couple BREATHS to compose himself and looks at Valerie.
QUITLOVE
This is not what I was expecting.
VALERIE
All due respect sir, what were you expecting?
Quitlove shakes his head.
INT. RECEPTION HALLWAY – Day
Kristine is at the end of her rope as the radio CRACKLES back to life. As the DJs speak again we see her yell at the receptionist and grab her ID, STORMING down an adjacent hallway. Over the radio, GUNFIRE can be heard. Phil sounds shaken.
PHIL (V.O.)
We’re back live. If you can still hear us, Tanner has been shot. I don’t think he’s going to make it.
An explosion ROCKETS over the airways.
PHIL (V.O. CONT’D.)
The Marines are here and they are making their way through the station. Tanner went to use the bathroom, he hasn’t returned yet.
A door is KICKED IN inside the radio’s studio. A MARINE can be heard entering.
MARINE (V.O.)
Get on the ground now! Do it or I will shoot you!
PHIL (V.O.)
Well we can wave goodbye to freedom of speech ladies and gentlemen. This is Phil, and don’t worry, I got this.
A couple of BURSTS of gunfire and the radio transmission ends.
INT. WORLD PRESIDENT’S OFFICE – Day
Quitlove and Valerie are staring at each other when Kristine SLAMS the door open and enters.
KRISTINE
We need to talk.
QUITLOVE
Honey, Daddy’s a little busy running the world right now. He doesn’t have the time to talk to his princess.
KRISTINE
Now!
QUITLOVE
Val?
He doesn’t need to make eye contact with her. She leaves without protest, closing the door behind her. Quitlove stands from behind his desk.
QUITLOVE
Sit.
KRISTINE
I’m not going to sit! You have to answer for what you’ve done!
Quitlove’s demeanor changes, he’s no longer the stressed out “suit” behind closed doors. He’s now the stern, stoic Father set on disciplining his young daughter.
QUITLOVE
Sit. Down.
She sits.
QUITLOVE (CONT’D.)
Regardless of what you might think, I’m not an evil monster. I’m not stealing or raping or selling drugs.
He picks up a stack of papers.
QUITLOVE (CONT’D.)
Hell! I’m trying to get this crap organized!
He SLAMS the stack of papers back onto the desk. When Kristine speaks she chooses her words more carefully, she knows who her father can be.
KRISTINE
You overthrew every major power in the world dad. There was a system in place.
QUITLOVE
They system was broken! It was sick and needed to be purged! Do you have the medicine to fix it?
KRISTINE
Do you?
QUITLOVE
It would certainly appear so!
The room falls silent for a beat. Tears begin to form in Kristine’s eyes. Quitlove’s demeanor changes back to a more somber tone.
KRISTINE
What if you’re wrong?
QUITLOVE
I’m not wrong. I can’t be. I don’t have that kind of luxury.
As she fights back tears he gets down to her level.
QUITLOVE
We are at the dawn of a new age. An age that will see me bring about an end to war, famine, all of the horsemen.
Valerie KNOCKS and enters with a head nod from Quitlove.
VALERIE
Sir, the research on the cure is done and we’re beginning prep on the final stage of testing. Just need you to sign here.
He signs. She exits.
KRISTINE
Research?
QUITLOVE
Ah yes, Englebert and I have been working for months now on a cancer cure. We may have found it.
KRISTINE
Cancer? But I thought that…
QUITLOVE
You’re young, there are a lot of things that you “think”.
KRISTINE
What about your old job?
QUITLOVE
My old job?
KRISTINE
Dad, you were a villain! A bad guy!
QUITLOVE
Who defines what a villain is my dear? Certainly not the villain himself.
KRISTINE
Are you trying to say there was some worldwide conspiracy against you?
QUITLOVE
The leaders that were, decided that they didn’t like my ideas. They were deemed too radical, too unattainable. So I made a support group of sorts, and we set out to show that our way of thinking was not only attainable, it was necessary!
Kristine’s tears are gone as she sees her father’s point of view for the first time.
KRISTINE
So now you’re going to make sure that everyone gets what they need? You’re going to end poverty, world hunger.
QUITLOVE
Exactly! You see! I’ve been misunderstood for so long. It’s time to spread the word. Go and tell everyone you can! Phineas Quitlove is going to change the world!
She jumps out of her chair, hugs her father and kisses him on the cheek.
KRISTINE
I love you daddy!
She exits. Valerie enters. Quitlove becomes more stoic again.
QUITLOVE
Make sure she doesn’t leave her room. In fact, double the guard. I don’t care if she sees they’re there.
VALERIE
Yes sir. Should we hold off on final testing til we know for sure that she’s secured in her quarters?
QUITLOVE
No. We will proceed as planned. I won’t let that little brat get in the way of years of planning.
VALERIE
I’ll give Englebert the green light.
QUITLOVE
Do that. Soon they will all curse they day they crossed me. Daddy is home.
Fade out.
There is a man at a desk behind a mountain of paperwork. Late 30’s-early 40’s. His dress shirt’s top button is undone, his tie hangs loosely tied around his neck. This man is PHINEAS QUITLOVE, World President. As Quitlove muses over the work staked in front of him, his assistant VALERIE, who’s in her late 20’s to early 30’s enters carrying a small stack of papers.
VALERIE
I have some more paperwork for you sir.
QUITLOVE
Oh really Val? Do you really have more? Why thank you! It’s so nice to know I can rely on you to help alleviate my stress!
Valerie
It comes with the job sir.
QUITLOVE
How do you know what comes with the job? I’m the first one!
INT. RECEPTION HALLWAY – Day
We’re following FOOTSTEPS down a hallway towards a reception desk. The person we’re following is KRISTINE, Quitlove’s college freshman daughter. As she approaches the desk a radio CRACKLES. The DJ is a political commentator named TANNER COLLINS (age 20s-30s) his co-host is PHIL (age 20’s-30’s).
TANNER (V.O.)
So here we are, it’s been just over a year since our beloved world leader Phineas Quitlove took over in a somewhat public, shall we call it “hostile takeover”. Phil?
PHIL (V.O.)
That’s true Connor and we have yet to see exactly what this administration actually has planned. I mean, who died and made this guy boss?
Tanner and Phil LAUGH NERVOUSLY
TANNER (V.O)
It seems like just about everyone Phil! Let’s not forget that before His Eminence took office, he was the leader of the most efficient criminal task force the world had ever seen.
At the desk Kristine holds up her badge to THE RECEPTIONIST (in her 20’s) who checks the computer system. Kristine grows impatient.
PHIL (V.O.)
At this point Tanner I think it’s essential to point out that it wasn’t a police task force against criminals, it was a task force made entirely of criminals!
TANNER (V.O.)
Very interesting point! We’ll touch on that after the break. The time is now 1:42pm. This is Tanner Collins.
Kristine is visibly irritated at waiting this long.
KRISTINE
Excuse me! I know you’re very busy trying to catch up on the latest quiz in Cosmo or whatever but I need to get in to see him!
RECEPTIONIST
I’m sorry miss, I’m trying to process it as quickly as I can but these things take time. He isn’t everyone’s favorite person at this point.
INT. WORLD PRESIDENT’S OFFICE – Day
Quitlove sits head in hand as he half-heartedly signs various papers. Valerie is looking busy. In a huff he SNAPS his writing utensil in half.
QUITLOVE
Would someone like to explain to me why on Earth we have so many pages dedicated to keeping track of paperclips!
VALERIE
It’s part of the job sir.
QUITLOVE
Stop saying that!
In a fit of anger he SWIPES a stack of papers off his desk making a mess. He takes a couple BREATHS to compose himself and looks at Valerie.
QUITLOVE
This is not what I was expecting.
VALERIE
All due respect sir, what were you expecting?
Quitlove shakes his head.
INT. RECEPTION HALLWAY – Day
Kristine is at the end of her rope as the radio CRACKLES back to life. As the DJs speak again we see her yell at the receptionist and grab her ID, STORMING down an adjacent hallway. Over the radio, GUNFIRE can be heard. Phil sounds shaken.
PHIL (V.O.)
We’re back live. If you can still hear us, Tanner has been shot. I don’t think he’s going to make it.
An explosion ROCKETS over the airways.
PHIL (V.O. CONT’D.)
The Marines are here and they are making their way through the station. Tanner went to use the bathroom, he hasn’t returned yet.
A door is KICKED IN inside the radio’s studio. A MARINE can be heard entering.
MARINE (V.O.)
Get on the ground now! Do it or I will shoot you!
PHIL (V.O.)
Well we can wave goodbye to freedom of speech ladies and gentlemen. This is Phil, and don’t worry, I got this.
A couple of BURSTS of gunfire and the radio transmission ends.
INT. WORLD PRESIDENT’S OFFICE – Day
Quitlove and Valerie are staring at each other when Kristine SLAMS the door open and enters.
KRISTINE
We need to talk.
QUITLOVE
Honey, Daddy’s a little busy running the world right now. He doesn’t have the time to talk to his princess.
KRISTINE
Now!
QUITLOVE
Val?
He doesn’t need to make eye contact with her. She leaves without protest, closing the door behind her. Quitlove stands from behind his desk.
QUITLOVE
Sit.
KRISTINE
I’m not going to sit! You have to answer for what you’ve done!
Quitlove’s demeanor changes, he’s no longer the stressed out “suit” behind closed doors. He’s now the stern, stoic Father set on disciplining his young daughter.
QUITLOVE
Sit. Down.
She sits.
QUITLOVE (CONT’D.)
Regardless of what you might think, I’m not an evil monster. I’m not stealing or raping or selling drugs.
He picks up a stack of papers.
QUITLOVE (CONT’D.)
Hell! I’m trying to get this crap organized!
He SLAMS the stack of papers back onto the desk. When Kristine speaks she chooses her words more carefully, she knows who her father can be.
KRISTINE
You overthrew every major power in the world dad. There was a system in place.
QUITLOVE
They system was broken! It was sick and needed to be purged! Do you have the medicine to fix it?
KRISTINE
Do you?
QUITLOVE
It would certainly appear so!
The room falls silent for a beat. Tears begin to form in Kristine’s eyes. Quitlove’s demeanor changes back to a more somber tone.
KRISTINE
What if you’re wrong?
QUITLOVE
I’m not wrong. I can’t be. I don’t have that kind of luxury.
As she fights back tears he gets down to her level.
QUITLOVE
We are at the dawn of a new age. An age that will see me bring about an end to war, famine, all of the horsemen.
Valerie KNOCKS and enters with a head nod from Quitlove.
VALERIE
Sir, the research on the cure is done and we’re beginning prep on the final stage of testing. Just need you to sign here.
He signs. She exits.
KRISTINE
Research?
QUITLOVE
Ah yes, Englebert and I have been working for months now on a cancer cure. We may have found it.
KRISTINE
Cancer? But I thought that…
QUITLOVE
You’re young, there are a lot of things that you “think”.
KRISTINE
What about your old job?
QUITLOVE
My old job?
KRISTINE
Dad, you were a villain! A bad guy!
QUITLOVE
Who defines what a villain is my dear? Certainly not the villain himself.
KRISTINE
Are you trying to say there was some worldwide conspiracy against you?
QUITLOVE
The leaders that were, decided that they didn’t like my ideas. They were deemed too radical, too unattainable. So I made a support group of sorts, and we set out to show that our way of thinking was not only attainable, it was necessary!
Kristine’s tears are gone as she sees her father’s point of view for the first time.
KRISTINE
So now you’re going to make sure that everyone gets what they need? You’re going to end poverty, world hunger.
QUITLOVE
Exactly! You see! I’ve been misunderstood for so long. It’s time to spread the word. Go and tell everyone you can! Phineas Quitlove is going to change the world!
She jumps out of her chair, hugs her father and kisses him on the cheek.
KRISTINE
I love you daddy!
She exits. Valerie enters. Quitlove becomes more stoic again.
QUITLOVE
Make sure she doesn’t leave her room. In fact, double the guard. I don’t care if she sees they’re there.
VALERIE
Yes sir. Should we hold off on final testing til we know for sure that she’s secured in her quarters?
QUITLOVE
No. We will proceed as planned. I won’t let that little brat get in the way of years of planning.
VALERIE
I’ll give Englebert the green light.
QUITLOVE
Do that. Soon they will all curse they day they crossed me. Daddy is home.
Fade out.
Yay for me!
I got 100 on my "Spec Writer's script" which for anyone who may have been confused, was my last post.
My teacher said "Geez Louise Tim… Yah leave me hanging….what’s in the darn box? This is a good story and your aesthetic execution of such tender, yet gut-retching subject matter will capture the heart of many. Keep it up and the overall impact will build as your characters mature and begin doing things you’d never imagined. Fun stuff…aye… "
My teacher said "Geez Louise Tim… Yah leave me hanging….what’s in the darn box? This is a good story and your aesthetic execution of such tender, yet gut-retching subject matter will capture the heart of many. Keep it up and the overall impact will build as your characters mature and begin doing things you’d never imagined. Fun stuff…aye… "
Thursday, February 25, 2010
September - 2nd Draft -
INT. JONES HOUSE – NIGHT
INT. SEPTEMBER’S BEDROOM
All of the lights are off in the room except for the soft glow of a nightlight. The lull of an argument can be heard in the background between MOTHER and FATHER a few rooms away. On the bed is a 13 year-old girl SEPTEMBER JONES. She is visibly shaken as the argument progresses to a shouting match.
FATHER (V.O.)
Then I come home after slaving away for hours, only to have to deal with you and that little brat in there! All I want is to come home, kick off my shoes, and have a nice meal. Is that too much to ask?
MOTHER (V.O.)
It is when you ask with your belt to my face! Or to hers!
Tears stream down September’s face as she rubs her cheek. She glances toward the open delivery box with a half eaten pizza in it.
MOTHER (CONT’D.)
If you absolutely have to hit someone you hit me! You do not touch our daughter!
A loud crash from the other room makes September jump.
FATHER (V.O.)
You don’t get to tell me my business! Get back here!
Footsteps fade into a third room. A door SLAMS. September lays there in terrified anticipation. Her breathing is audibly heavy in the awkward silence.
FATHER (V.O.)
What do you think you’re doing? This is getting ridiculous!
MOTHER (V.O.)
Yes! It really is!
The door SLAMS again and the sound of a pistol FIRING three times startles September. She sits there as time dissolves around her inside the room. Tears run down her cheek as sirens sound from outside.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – AFTERNOON (3 years later)
It’s a rainy/muggy day. The school bell RINGS and a flood of children come out anxious to run home. One of the more subdued is a now 16 year-old September. There is a group of boys playing around, they accidently knock her into a muddy puddle and run off not noticing.
SEPTEMBER
Oh that’s perfect. Let’s just knock the nerdy girl into puddles, it’ll be fun. Boys.
EXT. MARTINSON HOUSE – LATER
September, wet and muddy, runs up the steps to the house and removes her shoes before entering.
SEPTEMBER
Aunt Kathy? Uncle Charlie? I’m home. School sucks like always. Where are you guys?
September walks into the kitchen to see her Aunt (KATHY) and Uncle (CHARLIE) standing in front of a table with a cake and some small gifts.
KATHY and CHARLIE
Happy Birthday!
September runs over to them and hugs each in turn. Charlie gives her a kiss on the cheek.
CHARLIE
How does it feel to be 16 kiddo?
SEPTEMBER
I think it would feel better with a car!
Her smile fades as she notices a plain brown package on the table.
SEPTEMBER (CONT’D.)
What’s that?
KATHY
Your mother sent it. Would you like to open it?
September bursts in to tears and runs to her room. Her aunt takes a couple steps forward intent on following her.
CHARLIE
Let her go dear, this is the first time her mother’s tried to reach out to her since the incident. There’s no need to make it any worse for her.
KATHY
Poor thing. I can’t even imagine what’s going through her mind right now.
INT. SEPTEMBER’S BEDROOM – LATER
September is curled up on her bed with a stuffed animal clutched tightly to her chest. She is crying.
INT. SEPTEMBER’S BEDROOM – AFTERNOON (flashback to 3 years earlier)
September’s mother is holding ice to September’s face. She has been beaten by her father. Her mother also wear evidence of her fathers rage. September is crying, her mother stopped crying years ago.
MOTHER
I know baby I know. You’re very brave.
SEPTEMBER
I hate him! I hate him!
MOTHER
Your father loves you very much. He just doesn’t know how to show it very well.
September manages to compose herself slightly better than most 13 year-old girls in her position.
SEPTEMBER
He certainly knows how to drink.
MOTHER
That he does.
Mother leans forward and kisses September’s head.
SEPTEMBER
And how to hit.
MOTHER
Oh baby!
September bursts into tears. Mother holds her close.
MOTHER (CONT’D.)
I know, I know. Just stick with it for a little while longer. Just think: your birthday is coming up soon. What would you like?
SEPTEMBER
In a perfect world I’d get to have a pony, but I know that’s not realistic. Sometimes I just like the idea of jumping on a pony and riding away.
MOTHER
Trust me, I know how you feel. How about this?
Mother adjusts September so they are staring into each other’s eyes.
SEPTEMBER
Yes?
MOTHER
You keep being as strong as you are right now and on your sixteenth birthday, not only will we not have to deal with your daddy but you will also get your pony.
SEPTEMBER
Yeah right mom. Thanks for trying to make me feel better. Do you think I could be by myself for a while?
MOTHER
Sure thing, would you like me to order you some pizza?
SEPTMBER
That would be awesome mom. I love you.
MOTHER
I love you too baby.
Mother walks out of the room and stands by the door before closing it.
MOTHER (CONT’D.)
Baby, when your dad comes back home tonight, why don’t you lock your door and put on your headphones.
SEPTEMBER
So like every other night?
MOTHER
Tonight might be a little different. I need you to promise me you won’t come out tonight.
SEPTEMBER
Okay mom I promise.
MOTHER
Let me go order you that pizza!
INT. SEPTEMBER’S BEDROOM – EVENING (Present time 3 years later)
September wakes from her dream/memories. Cheeks tear stained but her demeanor is mostly composed. There is a light knock at her bedroom door.
SEPTEMBER
Come in.
KATHY
Are you doing alright?
SEPTEMBER
No Aunt Kathy I’m not doing alright at all. My murderous mother decides to taunt me on my sixteenth birthday. I preferred it when she didn’t want to have anything with me.
KATHY
I’m sorry I know it’s your birthday but no one gets to talk about my sister that way. Maybe you don’t remember it clearly. She killed your father in order to protect you.
SEPTEMBER
Did she? She told me that night to lock myself in my room and not come out for any reason. He came home and she shot him!
KATHY
Oh you teenagers know everything don’t you? Did you know that your father was addicted to drugs? And I don’t mean he was a pot head, he was doing hardcore stuff. Your mother discovered a stash of heroin in his gym bag. That was when she bought the gun.
As Kathy explains this, the conflict of emotion pouring through September is palpable.
KATHY (CONT’D.)
Your mother confronted him about the drugs and informed him that she would be taking you away from him. He threatened her, burst into your room, whipped off his belt and slapped you across the face with it. Then he left to go to the gym. Guess why?
Tears formed in September’s eyes.
SEPTEMBER
Why wouldn’t she let me visit her in prison?
KATHY
She was ashamed to be honest. She said she couldn’t face her baby knowing that she took her father away from her.
SEPTEMBER
I miss her so much Aunt Kathy.
KATHY
I know you do Dear. Why don’t we go see what’s in that box?
They get up and head to the kitchen.
INT. SEPTEMBER’S BEDROOM
All of the lights are off in the room except for the soft glow of a nightlight. The lull of an argument can be heard in the background between MOTHER and FATHER a few rooms away. On the bed is a 13 year-old girl SEPTEMBER JONES. She is visibly shaken as the argument progresses to a shouting match.
FATHER (V.O.)
Then I come home after slaving away for hours, only to have to deal with you and that little brat in there! All I want is to come home, kick off my shoes, and have a nice meal. Is that too much to ask?
MOTHER (V.O.)
It is when you ask with your belt to my face! Or to hers!
Tears stream down September’s face as she rubs her cheek. She glances toward the open delivery box with a half eaten pizza in it.
MOTHER (CONT’D.)
If you absolutely have to hit someone you hit me! You do not touch our daughter!
A loud crash from the other room makes September jump.
FATHER (V.O.)
You don’t get to tell me my business! Get back here!
Footsteps fade into a third room. A door SLAMS. September lays there in terrified anticipation. Her breathing is audibly heavy in the awkward silence.
FATHER (V.O.)
What do you think you’re doing? This is getting ridiculous!
MOTHER (V.O.)
Yes! It really is!
The door SLAMS again and the sound of a pistol FIRING three times startles September. She sits there as time dissolves around her inside the room. Tears run down her cheek as sirens sound from outside.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – AFTERNOON (3 years later)
It’s a rainy/muggy day. The school bell RINGS and a flood of children come out anxious to run home. One of the more subdued is a now 16 year-old September. There is a group of boys playing around, they accidently knock her into a muddy puddle and run off not noticing.
SEPTEMBER
Oh that’s perfect. Let’s just knock the nerdy girl into puddles, it’ll be fun. Boys.
EXT. MARTINSON HOUSE – LATER
September, wet and muddy, runs up the steps to the house and removes her shoes before entering.
SEPTEMBER
Aunt Kathy? Uncle Charlie? I’m home. School sucks like always. Where are you guys?
September walks into the kitchen to see her Aunt (KATHY) and Uncle (CHARLIE) standing in front of a table with a cake and some small gifts.
KATHY and CHARLIE
Happy Birthday!
September runs over to them and hugs each in turn. Charlie gives her a kiss on the cheek.
CHARLIE
How does it feel to be 16 kiddo?
SEPTEMBER
I think it would feel better with a car!
Her smile fades as she notices a plain brown package on the table.
SEPTEMBER (CONT’D.)
What’s that?
KATHY
Your mother sent it. Would you like to open it?
September bursts in to tears and runs to her room. Her aunt takes a couple steps forward intent on following her.
CHARLIE
Let her go dear, this is the first time her mother’s tried to reach out to her since the incident. There’s no need to make it any worse for her.
KATHY
Poor thing. I can’t even imagine what’s going through her mind right now.
INT. SEPTEMBER’S BEDROOM – LATER
September is curled up on her bed with a stuffed animal clutched tightly to her chest. She is crying.
INT. SEPTEMBER’S BEDROOM – AFTERNOON (flashback to 3 years earlier)
September’s mother is holding ice to September’s face. She has been beaten by her father. Her mother also wear evidence of her fathers rage. September is crying, her mother stopped crying years ago.
MOTHER
I know baby I know. You’re very brave.
SEPTEMBER
I hate him! I hate him!
MOTHER
Your father loves you very much. He just doesn’t know how to show it very well.
September manages to compose herself slightly better than most 13 year-old girls in her position.
SEPTEMBER
He certainly knows how to drink.
MOTHER
That he does.
Mother leans forward and kisses September’s head.
SEPTEMBER
And how to hit.
MOTHER
Oh baby!
September bursts into tears. Mother holds her close.
MOTHER (CONT’D.)
I know, I know. Just stick with it for a little while longer. Just think: your birthday is coming up soon. What would you like?
SEPTEMBER
In a perfect world I’d get to have a pony, but I know that’s not realistic. Sometimes I just like the idea of jumping on a pony and riding away.
MOTHER
Trust me, I know how you feel. How about this?
Mother adjusts September so they are staring into each other’s eyes.
SEPTEMBER
Yes?
MOTHER
You keep being as strong as you are right now and on your sixteenth birthday, not only will we not have to deal with your daddy but you will also get your pony.
SEPTEMBER
Yeah right mom. Thanks for trying to make me feel better. Do you think I could be by myself for a while?
MOTHER
Sure thing, would you like me to order you some pizza?
SEPTMBER
That would be awesome mom. I love you.
MOTHER
I love you too baby.
Mother walks out of the room and stands by the door before closing it.
MOTHER (CONT’D.)
Baby, when your dad comes back home tonight, why don’t you lock your door and put on your headphones.
SEPTEMBER
So like every other night?
MOTHER
Tonight might be a little different. I need you to promise me you won’t come out tonight.
SEPTEMBER
Okay mom I promise.
MOTHER
Let me go order you that pizza!
INT. SEPTEMBER’S BEDROOM – EVENING (Present time 3 years later)
September wakes from her dream/memories. Cheeks tear stained but her demeanor is mostly composed. There is a light knock at her bedroom door.
SEPTEMBER
Come in.
KATHY
Are you doing alright?
SEPTEMBER
No Aunt Kathy I’m not doing alright at all. My murderous mother decides to taunt me on my sixteenth birthday. I preferred it when she didn’t want to have anything with me.
KATHY
I’m sorry I know it’s your birthday but no one gets to talk about my sister that way. Maybe you don’t remember it clearly. She killed your father in order to protect you.
SEPTEMBER
Did she? She told me that night to lock myself in my room and not come out for any reason. He came home and she shot him!
KATHY
Oh you teenagers know everything don’t you? Did you know that your father was addicted to drugs? And I don’t mean he was a pot head, he was doing hardcore stuff. Your mother discovered a stash of heroin in his gym bag. That was when she bought the gun.
As Kathy explains this, the conflict of emotion pouring through September is palpable.
KATHY (CONT’D.)
Your mother confronted him about the drugs and informed him that she would be taking you away from him. He threatened her, burst into your room, whipped off his belt and slapped you across the face with it. Then he left to go to the gym. Guess why?
Tears formed in September’s eyes.
SEPTEMBER
Why wouldn’t she let me visit her in prison?
KATHY
She was ashamed to be honest. She said she couldn’t face her baby knowing that she took her father away from her.
SEPTEMBER
I miss her so much Aunt Kathy.
KATHY
I know you do Dear. Why don’t we go see what’s in that box?
They get up and head to the kitchen.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Blerg
I have a revised draft from my 3 page script (expanded to 7 pages) I'll post it sooner or later. I swear. Also I'm trying to figure out if my Best Haircut Ever story translates well outside of my head so we'll see on that soon as well. That is all.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
3 page script
Next up in my storytelling class we had to format a three page script based on our "spec writer's outline"
SEPTEMBER
TIMOTHY C.W. RUNGE
INT. JONES HOUSE – NIGHT
INT. BEDROOM
All of the lights are off in the room except for the soft glow of a nightlight. The lull of an argument can be heard in the background between MOTHER and FATHER a few rooms away. On the bed is a 13 year-old girl SEPTEMBER JONES. She is visibly shaken as the argument progresses to a shouting match.
FATHER (O.C.)
(to MOTHER)
Then I come home after slaving away for hours, only to have to deal with you and that little brat in there! All I want is to come home, kick off my shoes, and have a nice meal. Is that too much to ask?
MOTHER (O.C.)
(to FATHER)
It is when you ask with your belt to my face! Or to hers!
Tears stream down September’s face as she rubs her cheek.
MOTHER (CONT’D.)
If you absolutely have to hit someone you hit me! You do not touch our daughter!
A loud crash from the other room makes September jump.
FATHER (O.C.)
(to MOTHER)
You don’t get to tell me my business! Get back here!
Footsteps fade into a third room. A door slams. September lays there in terrified anticipation. Her breathing is audibly heavy in the awkward silence.
FATHER (O.C.)
(to MOTHER)
What do you think you’re doing? This is getting ridiculous!
MOTHER (O.C.)
(to FATHER)
Yes! It really is!
The door slams again and the sound of a pistol firing three times startles September. She sits there as time dissolves around her inside the room. Tears run down her cheek as sirens sound from outside.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – AFTERNOON
3 YEARS LATER
It’s a rainy/muggy day. The school bell rings and a flood of children come out anxious to run home. One of the more subdued is a now 16 year-old September. There is a GROUP OF BOYS playing around, they accidently knock her into a muddy puddle and run off not noticing.
SEPTEMBER
Oh that’s just perfect. Let’s just knock the nerdy girl into puddles, it’ll be fun. Boys.
EXT. MARTINSON HOUSE – LATER
September, wet and muddy, runs up the steps to the house and removes her shoes before entering.
SEPTEMBER
Aunt Kathy? Uncle Charlie? I’m home. School sucks like always. Where are you guys?
September walks into the kitchen to see her Aunt (KATHY) and Uncle (CHARLIE) standing in front of a table with a cake and some small gifts.
KATHY and CHARLIE
Happy Birthday!
September runs over to them and hugs each in turn. Charlie gives her a kiss on the cheek.
CHARLIE
How does it feel to be 16 kiddo?
SEPTEMBER
I think it would feel better with a car!
Her smile fades as she notices a plain brown package on the table.
SEPTEMBER
What’s that?
KATHY
Your mother sent it. Would you like to open it?
September bursts in to tears and runs to her room.
SEPTEMBER
TIMOTHY C.W. RUNGE
INT. JONES HOUSE – NIGHT
INT. BEDROOM
All of the lights are off in the room except for the soft glow of a nightlight. The lull of an argument can be heard in the background between MOTHER and FATHER a few rooms away. On the bed is a 13 year-old girl SEPTEMBER JONES. She is visibly shaken as the argument progresses to a shouting match.
FATHER (O.C.)
(to MOTHER)
Then I come home after slaving away for hours, only to have to deal with you and that little brat in there! All I want is to come home, kick off my shoes, and have a nice meal. Is that too much to ask?
MOTHER (O.C.)
(to FATHER)
It is when you ask with your belt to my face! Or to hers!
Tears stream down September’s face as she rubs her cheek.
MOTHER (CONT’D.)
If you absolutely have to hit someone you hit me! You do not touch our daughter!
A loud crash from the other room makes September jump.
FATHER (O.C.)
(to MOTHER)
You don’t get to tell me my business! Get back here!
Footsteps fade into a third room. A door slams. September lays there in terrified anticipation. Her breathing is audibly heavy in the awkward silence.
FATHER (O.C.)
(to MOTHER)
What do you think you’re doing? This is getting ridiculous!
MOTHER (O.C.)
(to FATHER)
Yes! It really is!
The door slams again and the sound of a pistol firing three times startles September. She sits there as time dissolves around her inside the room. Tears run down her cheek as sirens sound from outside.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – AFTERNOON
3 YEARS LATER
It’s a rainy/muggy day. The school bell rings and a flood of children come out anxious to run home. One of the more subdued is a now 16 year-old September. There is a GROUP OF BOYS playing around, they accidently knock her into a muddy puddle and run off not noticing.
SEPTEMBER
Oh that’s just perfect. Let’s just knock the nerdy girl into puddles, it’ll be fun. Boys.
EXT. MARTINSON HOUSE – LATER
September, wet and muddy, runs up the steps to the house and removes her shoes before entering.
SEPTEMBER
Aunt Kathy? Uncle Charlie? I’m home. School sucks like always. Where are you guys?
September walks into the kitchen to see her Aunt (KATHY) and Uncle (CHARLIE) standing in front of a table with a cake and some small gifts.
KATHY and CHARLIE
Happy Birthday!
September runs over to them and hugs each in turn. Charlie gives her a kiss on the cheek.
CHARLIE
How does it feel to be 16 kiddo?
SEPTEMBER
I think it would feel better with a car!
Her smile fades as she notices a plain brown package on the table.
SEPTEMBER
What’s that?
KATHY
Your mother sent it. Would you like to open it?
September bursts in to tears and runs to her room.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
"For Hire" Script outline for Storytelling Class
QUITLOVE CONQUERED THE WORLD
Tim Runge
As the smoke gives way to debris one man stands alone, laughing an evil laugh. This man is Phineas Quitlove. Fade out.
One year later. Many phones ring inside various offices as people scramble about to get their work done. Through phone conversations we understand that these are the offices of the President, and the people are not happy. Pieces of conversations can be heard with employees assuring the people on the other line that all of their concerns will be addressed.
At the end of the hall a door is opened by a woman who confidently enters the office. There is a desk with a chair facing the wall behind it. The chair rotates forward to show the President, it’s Phineas Quitlove. His lead henchman Englebert runs to him with a bottle of water as Quitlove and Valerie discuss the status of the people. One year ago all Quitlove wanted was to overthrow the planet and become Supreme President of the World. Now that he’s gotten it, he’s found that it’s far more complex than he originally conceived. Changing every currency in the world to one with his face on it seemed really cool on paper but the logistics behind money changeovers was ridiculous, not to mention that now he had to oversee running the entire world. Today Valerie has a specific problem that needs to be tackled: there is rumor of an underground resistance rising up to overtake Quitlove. And he’s not entirely opposed to the idea.
Quitlove has poured everything he’s got into achieving his status, and he’s worn down to the core, the thought of his stress being alleviated is enticing for fleeting seconds until he finds his resolve. Valerie informs him that they have a mole cemented with the rising underground forces. Quitlove decides to leave the mole there and not act at this time. He wants the underground to be a significant threat before he enacts his final resolve against them. He will instruct the mole to place explosives strategically throughout the enemy’s encampment and at the appointed time, the explosives will go off. Quitlove himself will be there to put a bullet between the eyes of each of the leaders as a show of force. And that will be one less gnat he’ll have to worry about.
This scene serves as a character piece. Our “heroes” are dealing with a problem internally and must come up with what they assume will be a master plan. Expect it to be driven by dialogue moreso than action as most takes place inside an office.
Tim Runge
As the smoke gives way to debris one man stands alone, laughing an evil laugh. This man is Phineas Quitlove. Fade out.
One year later. Many phones ring inside various offices as people scramble about to get their work done. Through phone conversations we understand that these are the offices of the President, and the people are not happy. Pieces of conversations can be heard with employees assuring the people on the other line that all of their concerns will be addressed.
At the end of the hall a door is opened by a woman who confidently enters the office. There is a desk with a chair facing the wall behind it. The chair rotates forward to show the President, it’s Phineas Quitlove. His lead henchman Englebert runs to him with a bottle of water as Quitlove and Valerie discuss the status of the people. One year ago all Quitlove wanted was to overthrow the planet and become Supreme President of the World. Now that he’s gotten it, he’s found that it’s far more complex than he originally conceived. Changing every currency in the world to one with his face on it seemed really cool on paper but the logistics behind money changeovers was ridiculous, not to mention that now he had to oversee running the entire world. Today Valerie has a specific problem that needs to be tackled: there is rumor of an underground resistance rising up to overtake Quitlove. And he’s not entirely opposed to the idea.
Quitlove has poured everything he’s got into achieving his status, and he’s worn down to the core, the thought of his stress being alleviated is enticing for fleeting seconds until he finds his resolve. Valerie informs him that they have a mole cemented with the rising underground forces. Quitlove decides to leave the mole there and not act at this time. He wants the underground to be a significant threat before he enacts his final resolve against them. He will instruct the mole to place explosives strategically throughout the enemy’s encampment and at the appointed time, the explosives will go off. Quitlove himself will be there to put a bullet between the eyes of each of the leaders as a show of force. And that will be one less gnat he’ll have to worry about.
This scene serves as a character piece. Our “heroes” are dealing with a problem internally and must come up with what they assume will be a master plan. Expect it to be driven by dialogue moreso than action as most takes place inside an office.
wow
So it's been two years and a day since I've posted anything, so what? People who used to read this back in the day probably forgot all about me and I'm now writing to nobody.
Oh well. I'm going to post my papers from class on here, probably going to rant about stuff too. As a rule I tend to not swear in my writing but from time to time it could happen. just so you know.
If you like my stuff, shoot me an email and let me know! I love hearing good feedback, if you think I'm awful and should never write again, well let's keep this to ourselves.
Thanks a lot for reading (mom),
Tim
"Spec Writer's" outline for Storytelling Class
September
Tim Runge
It’s a rainy afternoon and a high school just let out for the day. Teens come rushing out, excited and elated to be out of class. One girl in particular doesn’t fit this mold. She looks irritated as she walks, books clutched tightly, to her home. This girl is September Stephens.
A group of roughhousing boys fail to notice September (following in the footsteps of many who came before them) and carelessly run into her knocking her into a puddle in the street. She gets herself up, as she always does, and soldiers on home. Her tears betray her halfhearted attempt to regain some dignity, and something below the surface stirs.
The rain stops with her tears as she turns the corner on her street. The closer she gets to home the more relaxed she feels. She opens the gate and heads up the sidewalk passed the well-kept lawn. She skips every other step as she confidently glides up to the front porch and dutifully removes her shoes and enters.
A series of quick flashbacks ensue each showcasing parts of her life. Flash back 16 years: her father Donald is yelling in a room adjacent to an empty room with a crib. Flash again, 2 year-old September is held by her mother, Martha, who looks at her with love as dad bursts in, bottle in hand. Flash to Donald raising his hand to Martha with violent intent as September (approx. 8) looks on in tears. A loud bang and a flash to September as a young teen on the ground crying as a female shoulder is placed on her arm encouraging her to stand. The hand belongs to her Aunt. Flash back to the present.
Inside the house September is greeted with Happy Birthday banners, this is her 16th birthday. Her aunt and uncle hug her and give her small gifts, but her aunt has a despairing look in her eye. She directs September to the kitchen table where a box sits, wrapped in brown paper and bound with twine. The package states it’s from the prison.
Outside September is running down the street, tears flowing like the rain that is pouring down. Random flashes from before can be seen, her parents arguing, a gun shot, police lights. She can no longer contain herself. She falls to her knees in the rain and screams. She sits there for a little while, unable to contain her emotion, she’s letting out everything that had been bottled up for the last 3 years, things that a 16 year old might not be able to handle on her own.
The rude boys are still horsing around. This time the rain adds to their roughhouse and again they fail to notice September. They knock her into another puddle. No longer interested in trying to contain herself, September jumps up screaming. Knocking each of the confused boys over one by one, they don’t fight her. She yells at them explaining that the world doesn’t revolve around them and gets them to think about how they’ve been treating her.
Her uncle’s car pulls up and she gets in. He doesn’t yell at her, doesn’t say anything. They just drive home. She goes into her room and changes into some dry clothes. She comes back downstairs and sits at the table. Her Aunt and Uncle place the hands supportively on her shoulders. In front of her on the table is a toy horse and the letter that she threw on the ground.
He aunt volunteers to read the letter out loud, September agrees. The letter is from her mother who went to prison shortly after shooting her abusive husband in the head. He died instantly. September had no contact with her (per her mother’s request) in 3 years. In the letter, her mother explains that she had always felt torn between doing what she knew had to be done and leaving her little girl who, even though they’d been apart all these years, still lights up her dreams at night. When September was younger, and daddy was away at the bar, her mother told her that when she was 16 she would buy September a horse so she could gallop away and not worry about daddy coming home and hurting her. The toy horse was the best she could do given her current incarceration. She assured September that she loved her and thought of her often. She did, in fact, wish to see her little girl. She closed the letter by telling her not to let her anger control her. If she lived by anger she’d miss out on love. The one good thing about her husband was that he gave her September. May the bastard rest in…. nah she was still glad he was dead.
Her aunt and uncle gave her a hug, and they talked about when they should head over to the prison.
It’s a coming of age story that deals with loss and trauma, and one girl’s fight to overcome her emotions.
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