Saturday, March 27, 2010

Just when I thought I was out!

So I want to remove the insurance from my VZW phone and working there for a year or so I know a thing or two about a thing or two when it comes to making adjustments. I just hop onto my trusty interwebs, clickity clack away on the keyboard and/or mouse and then I'm done.

It seems as though I can't remove the feature from the website any longer which is a bit of a shame cause now I have to call customer service.

I don't want to call customer service.... at all...

I have no desire to be on the other end of that call. IN FACT; I know how the conversation will go EXACTLY!



here's the transcript for if I call in:



VZW: Thank you for calling Verizon Wireless my name is: X. May I have your name please?

ME: uh sure, my name is Tim Runge

VZW: Okay Mr. Runge just to verify can I have only the last four of your ssn?

ME: 2288

VZW: Very cool, how can I help you out today Mr. Runge?

ME: I just want to remove the insurance from my phone

VZW: So you'd like to remove your insurance feature from your phone, well I can help you with that. Is there any special reason why you'd like to adjust your account in this manner?

ME: I get a new phone next month.

VZW: Oh yeah! I can see that on your account right now Mr. Runge. Hold on just a second while I make some adjustments.

(TYPING ON A KEYBOARD)

VZW (CONTD.): Now Mr. Runge did you know that through our website Verizonwireless.com you can make changes like this to your account?

ME: I did in fact know that X. I tried to make the change there and couldn't find it for the life of me.

VZW: That's unfortunate, sometimes that website can be tricky.

ME: yup

VZW: Well Mr. Runge I got that insurance feature adjusted is there anything else I can do for you while I have you on the line?

ME: no

VZW: Alright well thank you so much for calling Verizon Wireless we...

then I'll hang up.


I really don't want to deal with this right now! Blerg.

Oh the horror's of my life

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Brighthouse note.

After my "On Suggestion" fiasco I wrote this to Brighthouse.

"I didn't get the name of the lady who "helped" me when I called in today. My cable box was working appropriately but my screen was black and wasn't transmitting picture or audio.

Now I understand that you have to ask if my TV is on the right setting and if the cable box itself is in fact on. I get it. But This lady was INCREDIBLY rude. I was insulted.

I worked for a time doing customer service myself and I understand that sometimes it's tedious and sometimes you have a bad day but I didn't appreciate being talked down to.

I'm not going to threaten to leave Brighthouse due to this one hiccup, I'm an adult and above such things. On that note if I have to continue calling in to deal with rude people AND my cable doesn't work like I pay for it to, then I will absolutely be seeking an alternative."

That will teach them.

On Suggestion

I paid my bill. I love my TV and I love my internet. I do NOT however, love my provider.

I was enjoying an episode of 30 Rock (as I am prone to do cause I love Tina Fey) and had a whole other episode to get through. I was all excited to get my laugh on when my TV froze up and told me that it was "unavailable". I get that technology can be iffy so I do what most people would do (I assume).

I shut off the cable box then turned it back on. My cable itself was working so I switched over to "On Demand" and I could go through all of my menus just fine I selected NBC, then 30 Rock, then the most recent episode. Completely ready to laugh minus the minor irritant.

It was "unavailable at this time". Okay, we just went through a hiccup together, I can dig this. My cable box has to catch up. Just to double check, I try watching something else on demand. CSI Miami (the Rob Zombie episode wasn't up yet but I thought I'd give it a shot) I clicked it. "Currently unavailable" well crap. At least I could switch over to "live" TV and see what was up.

My screen was black. Huh. I paid my bill in full more than 24 hours ago. I was online so obviously they hadn't shut off all of my stuff and my menus were all showing what was "on" but nothing. No sound and no picture but a black screen.

Same old song and dance, shut it off, turn it on, no dice. Which leads me to what I hate most. Calling customer service.

Those of you who read this (Hi mom!) probably know me and know that I worked for Verizon Wireless answering phones for customer service and I hated it, I don't like making other people do it but what other choice did I have?

I should have gotten her name.

I'm pretty hard to offend most days. I'm pretty chill and I can take most things off the cuff and not worry about it. But this lady... (by the way VZW peeps, she didn't even TRY to call sequence me).

One of the things I hated at VZW was trying to find out if people were as un-smart as they sounded. Tip toeing around trying to find out if their phone is on or if they have a battery inserted is almost uncomfortable while you try to help solve your customer's issue.

Man I wish I had gotten her name!

She was extremely put out by the fact that I called (I bet that new issue of Cosmo is pretty darn engaging). She asked what was wrong and I explained what was up with the menus and the screen and no sound yadda yadda yadda. So she takes one of those irritated inhales and our journy begins.

"okay is your TV turned to channel zero zero three?" she asked through her nose

"of course it is, but let me double check" I sat down and double checked the settings I know she has to do her thing and maybe I was being flighty, "yes it's all set properly"

(another sigh)

"Is the little green light to left of the box lit indicating that it's turned on?"

at this point I'm beyond irritated

"okay of course it's on, did you miss the part where I said I could see the menus? yes it's turned on." Now we get to be miserable together

"Fine, what I'm going to do now is send a signal to your cable box, let me know when it says it's resetting and you should see some lines on the cable box."

"okay I can do that" I trusted that I wasn't an idiot. She didn't

I stared intently at the cable box and my TV (At the same time! CAUSE I'M AWESOME!.... ladies) and nothing changed.

"Well?" She asked, presumably flipping through the latest personality test in her magazine.

"Yeah I got nothing yet." I assured her.

A couple seconds later I tell her "ah there it is."

"great. let me know when it says mystro"

we wait for a couple more minutes. Finally my screen changes. and I advise her appropriately.

"Okay what I'm going to do now is put you on hold for 2 minutes while the process finishes"

She puts me on hold. Thirty seconds later my TV resets and I sit there on hold for a little while. Finally I hung up. Irritated but with Tina Fey once again, I started musing. I thought about what would happen if I treated someone like that at VZW. So I provided feedback on our friend.

I should have gotten her name.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Quitlove hatchet'd

As the titles pass we hear TANNER a radio DJ (20’s).

TANNER (V.O.)
So here we are, it’s been just over a year since our “beloved” world leader Phineas Quitlove took over in a public, shall we call it “hostile takeover”. Let’s not forget that before “His Eminence” took office, he was the leader of the most efficient task force of criminals the world had ever seen, and now this glorified hoodlum is no longer robbing trains but trying to make them run on time. We’ll touch on that after the break. The time is now 1:42pm. This is Tanner Collins.


INT. WORLD PRESIDENT’S OFFICE - Day

There is a man at a desk behind a mountain of paperwork. His looks disheveled. This is PHINEAS QUITLOVE (30’s-40’s), World President. His assistant VALERIE, (20’s-30’s) enters carrying a small stack of papers.

VALERIE
I have some more paperwork for you sir.

QUITLOVE
It’s so nice to know I can rely on you to help alleviate my stress!

Valerie
It comes with the job sir.

QUITLOVE
How do you know what comes with the job? I’m the first one!


INT. RECEPTION HALLWAY – Day

We follow FOOTSTEPS down a hallway towards a reception desk. KRISTINE, Quitlove’s daughter (19) checks in with THE RECEPTIONIST (20’s).

KRISTINE
Can we move this along?

RECEPTIONIST
I’m sorry miss, I’m trying to process it as quickly as I can but these things take time. He isn’t everyone’s favorite person at this point.


INT. WORLD PRESIDENT’S OFFICE – Day

Quitlove sits head in hand as he half-heartedly signs various papers. In a huff he SNAPS his writing utensil in half then SWIPES a stack of papers off his desk making a mess. He takes a couple BREATHS to compose himself.

QUITLOVE
This is not what I was expecting.

VALERIE
All due respect sir, what were you expecting?

Quitlove shakes his head. He and Valerie exchange a look. Kristine SLAMS the door open and enters.

KRISTINE
We need to talk.

QUITLOVE
Honey, Daddy’s a little busy running the world right now. He doesn’t have the time to talk to his princess.

KRISTINE
Now!

QUITLOVE
Val?

He doesn’t need to make eye contact with her. She leaves without protest, closing the door behind her. Quitlove stands from behind his desk.

QUITLOVE
Sit.

KRISTINE
I’m not going to sit! You have to answer for what you’ve done!

Quitlove’s demeanor changes, he’s no longer the stressed out “suit”. He’s now the stern, stoic Father set on disciplining his young daughter.

QUITLOVE
Sit. Down.

She sits.

QUITLOVE (CONT’D.)
Regardless of what you might think, I’m not an evil monster. I’m not stealing or raping or selling drugs.

He picks up a stack of papers.

QUITLOVE (CONT’D.)
Hell! I’m trying to get this crap organized!

He SLAMS the stack of papers back onto the desk. Kristine chooses her words carefully.

KRISTINE
You overthrew every major power in the world dad. There was a system in place.

QUITLOVE
They system was broken! It was sick and needed to be purged! Do you have the medicine to fix it?

KRISTINE
Do you?

QUITLOVE
It would certainly appear so!

The room falls silent. Quitlove changes to a somber tone.

KRISTINE
What if you’re wrong?

QUITLOVE
I’m not wrong. I can’t be. I don’t have that kind of luxury.

As she fights back tears he gets down to her level.

QUITLOVE
We are at the dawn of a new age. One that will see me bring about an end to war, famine, all of it.

Valerie KNOCKS and enters with a head nod from Quitlove.

VALERIE
Sir, the research on the cure is done and we’re beginning prep on the final stage of testing. Just need you to sign here.

He signs. She exits.

KRISTINE
Research?

QUITLOVE
Ah yes, my team and I have been working for months now on a cancer cure. We may have found it.

KRISTINE
Cancer? But I thought that…

QUITLOVE
You’re young, there are a lot of things that you “think”.

KRISTINE
What about your old job?

QUITLOVE
My old job?

KRISTINE
Dad, you were a villain! A bad guy!

QUITLOVE
Who defines what a villain is my dear? Certainly not the villain himself.

KRISTINE
Are you trying to say there was some worldwide conspiracy against you?

QUITLOVE
The leaders that were, decided that they didn’t like my ideas. They were deemed too radical, too unattainable. So I made a support group of sorts, and we set out to show that our way

QUITLOVE (CONT’D.)
of thinking was not only attainable, it was necessary!

Kristine’s sees her father’s point of view for the first time.

KRISTINE
So now you’re going to make sure that everyone gets what they need? You’re going to end poverty, world hunger.

QUITLOVE
Exactly! You see! I’ve been misunderstood for so long. It’s time to spread the word. Go and tell everyone you can! Phineas Quitlove is going to change the world!

She jumps out of her chair, hugs her father and kisses him on the cheek.

KRISTINE
I love you daddy!

She exits. Valerie enters. Quitlove becomes more stoic again.

QUITLOVE
Make sure she doesn’t leave her room. In fact, double the guard. I don’t care if she sees they’re there.

VALERIE
Yes sir. Should we hold off on final testing til we know for sure that she’s secured in her quarters?

QUITLOVE
No. We will proceed as planned. I won’t let that little brat get in the way of years of planning.

VALERIE
I’ll give Englebert the green light.

QUITLOVE
Do that. Soon they will all curse they day they crossed me. Daddy is home.


A radio crackles to life as we fade to end credits. Tanner is back from his break.

TANNER (Panicked V.O.)
We’re back! It sounds like “His Majesty” is a fan of our program. The military censors are here I can hear them beating down doors. It’s only a matter of time before they get to me.

A door BURSTS open in the studio.

TANNER (Panicked V.O. CONT’D.)
Stay strong, and always remember…

The radio transmission ends in static.

I have no idea...

If people read this or if it's just me rambling, but rambling is kind of my thing. Had my first day of Digital Cinematography today. FINALLY! A class that I get behind. I finally feel like I'm in film school... (bout time I know).

AAANNNYYYYWAY, we got to see some stuff that previous students have shot and that was pretty boss. and then we went over the criteria for submitting script ideas. Turns out my Script was about a page and a half too long so I got to do my first hatchet job on my script (a step towards being a Script Doctor -boosh-) and that will be what's posted on top of this bad boy.

Leave me comments if you read this (only if you like it, if you hate it I don't need to know!),

Tim