(this is a more fleshed out version of a rant I’ve been diving into lately)
Let’s do something new. I’m going to talk about me for a while! This is why you came here right?
I’m a wreck. Complete and total. Always have been. It’s not going to change.
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I keep complaining about being tired. I sleep. A lot. It doesn’t help. I’m not really physically tired. I’m just drained. I’ve gone through so many extremely high ups followed by so many extremely low downs that I can’t even process anything properly. I need the world to stop for a couple dozen years.
One of the things that makes me a passible writer is (I believe) the passion that goes into my writing. (More so my fiction than my blogging but this one is pretty passionate so I guess we’ll see what happens.) In my stories when I write a character, I embody that character. I feel what they feel. I experience their lives as I clickity-clack away on my keyboard. It gets to the point where I don’t even think about the words I just experience the story. It’s a great emotional ride for me and I hope it comes across in my words.
I mention this because it’s not something that exists solely on paper for me. It’s something I experience (until recently to far smaller extent) on a daily basis. When I talk to someone, scratch that, when I talk to ANYONE, I think about every possible branch that conversation could go WHILE in the middle of that conversation (which is why I’m prone to interrupting, which I’m trying to quell).
Here’s what that means: Let’s say you, Dear Reader, are my boss and you call me in to your office. I’m cool with that up until the walk TO your office. On the walk to the office I go through a variety of interactions (I’m sure many other people do this as well), wherein I’m applauded for my efforts, or scolded for some terrible deed I had committed but was unaware of… *had I said something offensive to a guest? Did I look at a girl wrong and now I’m getting fired? Am I getting fired? I need to find a job! How can I pay for rent if I don’t have a job? If the internet goes out because I can’t pay the bill how am I going to finish my classes? What happens if I don’t finish my classes? Is this as far as I can go in life? Am I stuck now? Am I getting a promotion? I could use some extra money. What if the responsibilities of my job interfere with schoolwork? Am I stuck here? Is this as far as I can go? Should I quit? What happens if I quit?*
It’s exhausting.
Every text message is like that with me too.
*Oh awesome it’s her! I wonder what she wants. I hope she’s not irritated with me, why would she be irritated? Oh crap, let me retrace my steps a few days and overanalyze everything.*
That’s before I even open the message.
*Crap. What did she mean by that? How do I respond? Should I be sarcastic? How do I play this off? Should I play this off? Do I have a chance? Should I be asking that? If there’s a chance should I pursue it? If I pursue it is a no worth the price of a yes?*
It used to be that stuff like that was an underpinning to my day. Almost like a sixth sense that I had learned to deal with. Now it’s taken the forefront of my thought. My life is like a “choose your own adventure” book, only when you turn to page 81 for “turn left” you can’t go back to the previous page to see what happens if you turn right instead. I feel like there’s some shrouded figure hanging over me that mocks my decisions and slams me down as I poke my head up.
Nighttime is the worst. During the day I have distractions and things to occupy my brain. At night there’s nothing but me and the darkness. My brain spins in a sea of “what ifs” and “oh craps”. I remember things I forgot to say, genius comebacks, the perfect pick up line.
Every girl I’ve ever talked to (hi ladies, this just got awkward… I’m kidding, you’re not reading this) has lived vastly different lives in my head. I’ve been married to and banned from talking to every girl ever. From my elementary school crush to Kristen Bell and Olvia Wilde. (Let’s just play it safe, just in case.)
So yeah, I’m going to go back to the darkness now. I’m going to listen to Emery and try not to go stir crazy.
Lesson Over.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Two Worlds
I wrote "Two Worlds" as a whole for one of my film classes. I butchered it to tiny pieces and re-created my female lead for this. Also in class all of the scripts had a five page limit. So here's my second take on "Two Worlds".
(Check out 'Loglines' to see the origins of this take of the story)
(OVER BLACK)
PROFESSOR NEAL (V.O.)
There are two worlds. The world you know and the world you think you know.
TIRES SCREECH and there’s a CRASH. SIRENS grow louder. Light begins to appear as there are glimpses of doctors around a gurney. Time moves forward through the hazy jumble of sirens and emergency personnel. Then silence.
FADE IN
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAYTIME.
The hospital room is a sterile, generic one. The TV is on in the corner with what sounds like a sermon. VANESSA (between 20 and 30)sleeps in the bed which is attached to a heart monitor that BEEPS periodically.
Vanessa groggily opens her eyes not entirely aware of her surroundings. Her eyes land on the TV where PROFESSOR THOMAS NEAL (around 50) is speaking. He’s holding up a book he’s written called Two Worlds.
PROFESSOR NEAL
You’re all familiar, I’m sure with the concept of angels and demons. How these forces of good and evil are at war over your very soul.
APPLAUSE bursts through the crowd.
PROFESSOR NEAL (CONT’D)
That’s only half true. They are at war and it IS for your soul, but not one side is looking after your well being. They are simply; hungry. There are Two Worlds...
The TV shuts off. NURSE KELLY (30 or 40) stands over Vanessa.
NURSE KELLY
You don’t need to listen to that garbage. You just woke up from a well deserved nap.
Nurse Kelly picks up a clipboard and examines Vanessa.
EXT. PARK - DUSK - 3 WEEKS LATER.
Vanessa hobbles a bit as she walks. Every shadow seems to stretch out at her from the corner of her eyes. She thinks back to Professor Neal’s broadcast.
PROFESSOR NEAL (V.O.)
Angles... demons... two worlds.
As the wind picks up, she notices there aren’t many people in the park at all except for one ELDERLY WOMAN. The woman sits on a bench next a dimly illuminated lamp post crocheting what look like small wings.
Vanessa’s pace quickens as her heart beats faster. The woman looks up from her project, her eyes seem red in the fading sunlight. She MUMBLES something, her scratchy voice scrapes Vanessa’s ears. Vanessa blinks back tears as she makes her way past the woman.
The woman jumps from her bench and yells at Vanessa. Her voice has a deep, other-worldly quality to it.
WOMAN
Girly! Aren’t you going to even acknowledge your betters?
Vanessa can’t fight the tears the pour down her cheeks. The world seems pitch black now, save the light that illuminates the woman, and her red eyes.
WOMAN (CONT’D)
Your rude ignorance has sealed you fate girl! Dinner will be served shortly!
The woman cackles loudly. Vanessa falls to her knees, eyes clenched, hands over her ears. A hand falls on her shoulder and she SCREAMS. Her eyes open and she sees that she’s surrounded by many people in the park.
The bench is empty.
INT. VANESSA’S LIVING ROOM - THE NEXT DAY
Vanessa’s hair is frazzled, she hasn’t slept. Her makeup is smeared and she’s frantic. She’s on the phone with SUE (20’s).
VANESSA
I know I sound crazy I know it. I think something happened to me during the accident.
SUE (V.O.)
What? Like you can see demons now?
VANESSA
It would be great if I could just see them, but they talk to me.
SUE (V.O.)
They talk to you? Honey, are you sure you’re okay?
VANESSA
I am absolutely not okay Sue! Not at all. When I woke up there was a man on TV talking about angels and demons and soul eating. He said there was something about another world existing with ours...
SUE (V.O.)
Are you talking about that Neal guy? Sweetie he’s a loon! I understand you’re freaked out and I believe you when you say you saw something but I can assure you that no one is going to try to eat your soul. Especially not a demon and definitely not an angel.
Vanessa sits on her couch. She takes a couple breaths and calms herself down.
VANESSA
You’re right. I’m overreacting a bit. Would you do me a favor though? Would you come to the park with me? Just to get some sense of closure?
SUE (V.O.)
Absolutely babe. Get yourself cleaned up and I’ll come get you in an hour.
Vanessa hangs up and takes a deep breath. She allows herself a smile as she glances down at her coffee table.
Her eyes grow in horror as she leans forward and picks up a crocheted pair of wings that were remarkably close to the ones the old woman was knitting the night before.
EXT. PARK - LATER THAT SAME DAY
Vanessa and Sue are walking the same route Vanessa took. They stop at the bench. The sun shines brightly in the sky but clouds seem to begin to roll in out of nowhere. No one else is in the park.
SUE
The scariest thing about this bench is that it needs a new coat of paint.
Vanessa walks around the bench, examining it.
VANESSA
It just seemed too vivid to be in my imagination.
Vanessa curiously touches the lamp post and it lights up. This prompts a startled scream from Vanessa.
SUE
Okay Vee, let’s get you home.
A HOODED FIGURE dressed in grey appears behind Sue and pushes her down. Vanessa looks on horrified. As the hooded figure crouches over Sue’s body making DISTURBING NOISES. Vanessa cranks her head away and buries her face in her hands, sobbing.
Sue’s body twitches on final time as the hooded figure rises and turns towards Vanessa. It’s face is shaded from view by the hood, all that’s visible is two glowing red eyes.
Vanessa attempts a scream but nothing happens. They sky becomes dark as clouds roll in. Lightning cracks through the sky with every step the hooded figure takes.
VANESSA (EXHAUSTED)
Okay, if this is some kind of joke it’s really not funny.
The hooded figure does not quicken his pace but casually moves forward.
VANESSA (CONT’D)
Okay... ha ha. I get it. Real funny guys. Okay Sue I’m sorry I made such a big deal out of everything.
The figure hisses and lunges at Vanessa. She screams.
INT. VANESSA’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Vanessa’s phone is ringing. She gasps sitting bolt upright and scrambles for her phone.
VANESSA
Hello?
SUE (V.O.)
Hey lady! Just checking up on you. Wanted to make sure everything was alright.
VANESSA
Yeah... everything is alright. Just had another nightmare. Nothing to worry about, I’m sure they’ll pass.
SUE (V.O.)
It’s been a couple weeks now. Maybe you should let the doctors know.
VANESSA
Yeah I have an appointment tomorrow. I’m sure it’s nothing.
SUE (V.O.)
Go for a walk in the park or something... oh shoot. Honey I have to go. Call me later.
Vanessa hangs up the phone and stars at the ceiling. She rolls on her side and is face to face with the old woman.
WOMAN
Good morning sunshine!
The woman lunges at Vanessa.
Fade Out.
PROFESSOR NEAL (V.O.)
There are two worlds. The world you know and the world you think you know.
End.
(Check out 'Loglines' to see the origins of this take of the story)
(OVER BLACK)
PROFESSOR NEAL (V.O.)
There are two worlds. The world you know and the world you think you know.
TIRES SCREECH and there’s a CRASH. SIRENS grow louder. Light begins to appear as there are glimpses of doctors around a gurney. Time moves forward through the hazy jumble of sirens and emergency personnel. Then silence.
FADE IN
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAYTIME.
The hospital room is a sterile, generic one. The TV is on in the corner with what sounds like a sermon. VANESSA (between 20 and 30)sleeps in the bed which is attached to a heart monitor that BEEPS periodically.
Vanessa groggily opens her eyes not entirely aware of her surroundings. Her eyes land on the TV where PROFESSOR THOMAS NEAL (around 50) is speaking. He’s holding up a book he’s written called Two Worlds.
PROFESSOR NEAL
You’re all familiar, I’m sure with the concept of angels and demons. How these forces of good and evil are at war over your very soul.
APPLAUSE bursts through the crowd.
PROFESSOR NEAL (CONT’D)
That’s only half true. They are at war and it IS for your soul, but not one side is looking after your well being. They are simply; hungry. There are Two Worlds...
The TV shuts off. NURSE KELLY (30 or 40) stands over Vanessa.
NURSE KELLY
You don’t need to listen to that garbage. You just woke up from a well deserved nap.
Nurse Kelly picks up a clipboard and examines Vanessa.
EXT. PARK - DUSK - 3 WEEKS LATER.
Vanessa hobbles a bit as she walks. Every shadow seems to stretch out at her from the corner of her eyes. She thinks back to Professor Neal’s broadcast.
PROFESSOR NEAL (V.O.)
Angles... demons... two worlds.
As the wind picks up, she notices there aren’t many people in the park at all except for one ELDERLY WOMAN. The woman sits on a bench next a dimly illuminated lamp post crocheting what look like small wings.
Vanessa’s pace quickens as her heart beats faster. The woman looks up from her project, her eyes seem red in the fading sunlight. She MUMBLES something, her scratchy voice scrapes Vanessa’s ears. Vanessa blinks back tears as she makes her way past the woman.
The woman jumps from her bench and yells at Vanessa. Her voice has a deep, other-worldly quality to it.
WOMAN
Girly! Aren’t you going to even acknowledge your betters?
Vanessa can’t fight the tears the pour down her cheeks. The world seems pitch black now, save the light that illuminates the woman, and her red eyes.
WOMAN (CONT’D)
Your rude ignorance has sealed you fate girl! Dinner will be served shortly!
The woman cackles loudly. Vanessa falls to her knees, eyes clenched, hands over her ears. A hand falls on her shoulder and she SCREAMS. Her eyes open and she sees that she’s surrounded by many people in the park.
The bench is empty.
INT. VANESSA’S LIVING ROOM - THE NEXT DAY
Vanessa’s hair is frazzled, she hasn’t slept. Her makeup is smeared and she’s frantic. She’s on the phone with SUE (20’s).
VANESSA
I know I sound crazy I know it. I think something happened to me during the accident.
SUE (V.O.)
What? Like you can see demons now?
VANESSA
It would be great if I could just see them, but they talk to me.
SUE (V.O.)
They talk to you? Honey, are you sure you’re okay?
VANESSA
I am absolutely not okay Sue! Not at all. When I woke up there was a man on TV talking about angels and demons and soul eating. He said there was something about another world existing with ours...
SUE (V.O.)
Are you talking about that Neal guy? Sweetie he’s a loon! I understand you’re freaked out and I believe you when you say you saw something but I can assure you that no one is going to try to eat your soul. Especially not a demon and definitely not an angel.
Vanessa sits on her couch. She takes a couple breaths and calms herself down.
VANESSA
You’re right. I’m overreacting a bit. Would you do me a favor though? Would you come to the park with me? Just to get some sense of closure?
SUE (V.O.)
Absolutely babe. Get yourself cleaned up and I’ll come get you in an hour.
Vanessa hangs up and takes a deep breath. She allows herself a smile as she glances down at her coffee table.
Her eyes grow in horror as she leans forward and picks up a crocheted pair of wings that were remarkably close to the ones the old woman was knitting the night before.
EXT. PARK - LATER THAT SAME DAY
Vanessa and Sue are walking the same route Vanessa took. They stop at the bench. The sun shines brightly in the sky but clouds seem to begin to roll in out of nowhere. No one else is in the park.
SUE
The scariest thing about this bench is that it needs a new coat of paint.
Vanessa walks around the bench, examining it.
VANESSA
It just seemed too vivid to be in my imagination.
Vanessa curiously touches the lamp post and it lights up. This prompts a startled scream from Vanessa.
SUE
Okay Vee, let’s get you home.
A HOODED FIGURE dressed in grey appears behind Sue and pushes her down. Vanessa looks on horrified. As the hooded figure crouches over Sue’s body making DISTURBING NOISES. Vanessa cranks her head away and buries her face in her hands, sobbing.
Sue’s body twitches on final time as the hooded figure rises and turns towards Vanessa. It’s face is shaded from view by the hood, all that’s visible is two glowing red eyes.
Vanessa attempts a scream but nothing happens. They sky becomes dark as clouds roll in. Lightning cracks through the sky with every step the hooded figure takes.
VANESSA (EXHAUSTED)
Okay, if this is some kind of joke it’s really not funny.
The hooded figure does not quicken his pace but casually moves forward.
VANESSA (CONT’D)
Okay... ha ha. I get it. Real funny guys. Okay Sue I’m sorry I made such a big deal out of everything.
The figure hisses and lunges at Vanessa. She screams.
INT. VANESSA’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Vanessa’s phone is ringing. She gasps sitting bolt upright and scrambles for her phone.
VANESSA
Hello?
SUE (V.O.)
Hey lady! Just checking up on you. Wanted to make sure everything was alright.
VANESSA
Yeah... everything is alright. Just had another nightmare. Nothing to worry about, I’m sure they’ll pass.
SUE (V.O.)
It’s been a couple weeks now. Maybe you should let the doctors know.
VANESSA
Yeah I have an appointment tomorrow. I’m sure it’s nothing.
SUE (V.O.)
Go for a walk in the park or something... oh shoot. Honey I have to go. Call me later.
Vanessa hangs up the phone and stars at the ceiling. She rolls on her side and is face to face with the old woman.
WOMAN
Good morning sunshine!
The woman lunges at Vanessa.
Fade Out.
PROFESSOR NEAL (V.O.)
There are two worlds. The world you know and the world you think you know.
End.
Loglines
I'm not 100% confident in my loglines. I know my stories and I love (most of) them. I need to work on my pitches and trying to cram as much info as possible into only a few sentences.
In class we had to come up with 10 loglines. These (for better or worse) are mine:
Crestfall – A young female veteran wakes to find she’s sprouted wings and has super powers, as she investigates this phenomenon she uncovers a conspiracy that hits a little too close to home.
Fake It Til You Bake It – A middle class father recently lost his job so he enters a local cooking contest for some quick cash. Using only boxed cake and brownie mixes he wins effortlessly and soon has his own cooking show, but his conniving ex-wife threatens to reveal his secret to the world.
Two Worlds – An African American teen has her world flipped upside down after a near fatal car crash where she glimpsed the after life, now demonic apparitions haunt her daily.
One Night in Des Moines - In a noir tale set in the 1920’s, a policeman’s partner is brutally murdered in a quiet Midwestern city, the policeman is sole witness and must now gather evidence to prove his claims are substantiated.
Unfortunate - A college graduate tries his hand at stand up comedy but has no real affinity for it. His friends don’t have the heart to tell him as he signs up for a nationally televised talent show.
Reality Check - A group of well to do college students get part time jobs at a parking lot as part of a social experiment in order to find some over analyzed crumb of self importance, along the way they are faced with the possibility of having to actually do something in order to have validation in their life.
Porn-Buddies – A man in his early thirties receives an email from his high school best friend who has recently passed away. His friend asks in the email for the man to go to his apt and clear out all of his porn before his mother and sister come to clear out his things.
Succubus - When a reclusive 30-year-old man answers a personal ad online he’s introduced to the woman of his dreams. After the sun sets she locks the doors and his night of terror begins.
We Can Do That – In the not too distant future a man procures the services of “Oops Incorporated”, a company that allows him the use of time travel up to 3 times to go into his own past and correct any mistake he chooses. He’s forced to question the consequences of every decision he’s ever made.
Caroline – She grew up in various homes with various people bounced from place to place. Now she struggles between a family that might actually love her, and the acceptance of peers who have their own definition of “cool”.
In class we had to come up with 10 loglines. These (for better or worse) are mine:
Crestfall – A young female veteran wakes to find she’s sprouted wings and has super powers, as she investigates this phenomenon she uncovers a conspiracy that hits a little too close to home.
Fake It Til You Bake It – A middle class father recently lost his job so he enters a local cooking contest for some quick cash. Using only boxed cake and brownie mixes he wins effortlessly and soon has his own cooking show, but his conniving ex-wife threatens to reveal his secret to the world.
Two Worlds – An African American teen has her world flipped upside down after a near fatal car crash where she glimpsed the after life, now demonic apparitions haunt her daily.
One Night in Des Moines - In a noir tale set in the 1920’s, a policeman’s partner is brutally murdered in a quiet Midwestern city, the policeman is sole witness and must now gather evidence to prove his claims are substantiated.
Unfortunate - A college graduate tries his hand at stand up comedy but has no real affinity for it. His friends don’t have the heart to tell him as he signs up for a nationally televised talent show.
Reality Check - A group of well to do college students get part time jobs at a parking lot as part of a social experiment in order to find some over analyzed crumb of self importance, along the way they are faced with the possibility of having to actually do something in order to have validation in their life.
Porn-Buddies – A man in his early thirties receives an email from his high school best friend who has recently passed away. His friend asks in the email for the man to go to his apt and clear out all of his porn before his mother and sister come to clear out his things.
Succubus - When a reclusive 30-year-old man answers a personal ad online he’s introduced to the woman of his dreams. After the sun sets she locks the doors and his night of terror begins.
We Can Do That – In the not too distant future a man procures the services of “Oops Incorporated”, a company that allows him the use of time travel up to 3 times to go into his own past and correct any mistake he chooses. He’s forced to question the consequences of every decision he’s ever made.
Caroline – She grew up in various homes with various people bounced from place to place. Now she struggles between a family that might actually love her, and the acceptance of peers who have their own definition of “cool”.
Writer's Block
(ramblings required for a post in class)
I don’t have a huge insight into writer’s block. I come across it daily and honestly I think it’s one of the things that have helped me become a better writer. Like right now for instance. I’m sitting at the table trying to put words on paper to describe the ideas in my head, and I can’t come up with anything better than what you’re reading right now.
If you take a look at what I wrote though, you’ll notice that I brought out the exact idea that I wanted to convey, and I did it in simple terms without over-thinking. Sometimes (for me) the best way to get over writer’s block is to just write.
I don’t have the direct quote but author Brian K. Vaughan once said something about how every writer has good words piled under a mountain of horrible ones, once you get all the horrible words out of the way, all that’s left are good ones. For me that says that no matter what I have to write words. I can only become a better writer.
I don’t have disciplined writing schedule. My biggest problem as a writer is that I just don’t take the time daily to write. When I do write, I write a lot but I’m working on writing little reviews for my friends’ blogs just to get in a deadline habit. The more writing I do, the faster I can get the horrible words out and get around to the good ones I know are in there.
I don’t have a huge insight into writer’s block. I come across it daily and honestly I think it’s one of the things that have helped me become a better writer. Like right now for instance. I’m sitting at the table trying to put words on paper to describe the ideas in my head, and I can’t come up with anything better than what you’re reading right now.
If you take a look at what I wrote though, you’ll notice that I brought out the exact idea that I wanted to convey, and I did it in simple terms without over-thinking. Sometimes (for me) the best way to get over writer’s block is to just write.
I don’t have the direct quote but author Brian K. Vaughan once said something about how every writer has good words piled under a mountain of horrible ones, once you get all the horrible words out of the way, all that’s left are good ones. For me that says that no matter what I have to write words. I can only become a better writer.
I don’t have disciplined writing schedule. My biggest problem as a writer is that I just don’t take the time daily to write. When I do write, I write a lot but I’m working on writing little reviews for my friends’ blogs just to get in a deadline habit. The more writing I do, the faster I can get the horrible words out and get around to the good ones I know are in there.
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